


Profound Encounters

by Wistful_Wed_and_Well_Read



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Almost a year after they left Bella in New Moon, Book: New Moon, College, Cornell University, F/M, Ithaca, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:41:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 26,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23921734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wistful_Wed_and_Well_Read/pseuds/Wistful_Wed_and_Well_Read
Summary: When Edward left Bella in the forest, he left a broke girl the world would never see again. With the Cullens gone and her friends still distant after months of her being a zombie, Jake helps set Bella back on track, reminding her that she's a smart, determined, girl who deserves a chance to study far away at some esteemed university. Little did she or the Cullens know, their paths would soon cross again.Estranged by his wife, Jasper is pursuing a degree in Philosophy at Cornell University while trying to keep the remaining parts of his family afloat. With only Carlisle left teaching part time at another local college and Esme restoring an old house, the family's outlook is grim. When he catches a familiar scent on campus one day, he doesn't know it but his outlook changes for the better.
Relationships: Carlisle Cullen/Esme Cullen, Emmett Cullen/Rosalie Hale, Jasper Hale/Bella Swan
Comments: 68
Kudos: 352





	1. Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bare with me folks! This may or may not be the first fanfic I have written in six years. I dove back into the fandom very recently as I have had to find new ways to occupy myself during this pandemic. When I am so bored I can't even focus on crocheting, audiobooks, regular books, or TV for some reason my brain urns for the familiarity of exploring well-known universes through fanfiction.  
> I realized, this time around while reading my self prescribed Jasper fanfiction, that the period of time where the Cullens station themselves in Ithaca, NY right after abandoning Bella is not well explored. I might be attached to the idea because college is still fresh in my mind or because I am Central NY born and raised but I thought that since we were provided with just enough information about what happened in that time that there would be more fanfiction involving it. I have found none so far that are actually staged in Ithaca! So enjoy this fanfic and if you like Jasper/OC fics head over to read my other brainchild Captivate Me which came to me after days of deliberating whether to post this one or not!  
> I can't promise frequent postings as I do have a job and work from home, however, I can promise a moderately well-written piece and a plotline you probably haven't read before!

As Jasper marched up the paved path of Ho Plaza, Rosalie’s concerned voice rang through the phone. “She still hasn’t seen anything?” Of course the concern wasn’t for Jasper or his estranged wife, it was for Edward who had run off nearly 11 months ago in pursuit of Victoria.

“No,”Jasper said tersely though trying not to ground his teeth. He couldn’t be mad at Rose. As far as she was concerned Edward was the glue that kept the family together and the the force that kept them safe. She longed for her brother's presence just as much as she longed for a genuine smile on Esme’s face but they hadn’t had either for almost a year. Things had gotten so bad in the house that she and Emmett had gotten remarried and used their honeymoon as a way to distance themselves from the emptiness that hung heavy over their new home. The pair had gone off on their own for a few months before to reconnect but this was different. Jasper had never been the only one of his coven to stay with Carlisle and Esme before.

Jasper continued before he could get too deep into the despairing thoughts that haunted him enough at the house, “Alice hasn’t seen anything other than a flash of Edward since June.” He sighed. Jasper had grown tired of Edward’s antics if he were to be honest.

“I know Jazz, it’s just,” Rose paused, ”how long is this going to last? With everyone avoiding each other? It’s not like Emmett and I were any better running off to Europe but I couldn’t just do nothing. I couldn’t just watch Edward abandon us and and the rest mourn.” Jasper did not need to feel his sister’s emotions to know that she was distraught. Her voice shook in a way that only a vampire unable to shed tears could, “I may not have cared for her but this is my family and I want my family back.”

They both knew the “her” Rosalie had referred to without saying her name. The little human that had turned their world upside down in the few short months she had been in Forks, Washington. Jasper also knew what Rose was trying to say. She would do anything to get her family back. Anything. Maybe even including searching for a certain human.

Even looking past her theatrics, Rose had a point. The family had never been this distanced physically or emotionally. Edward was currently avoiding making decisions and Alice could only confirm he was still in South America because of a very distinct fern she occasionally glimpsed around him. Alice herself was chasing lead all the way down in Biloxi, Mississippi trying to figure out who she had been as a human. Rosalie and Emmett had been in Europe for the past several months reconnecting and enjoying their remarriage. Carlisle and Esme were still working in Ithaca but both were trying their best to keep busy. Carlisle worked as a part time professor for the medical department of Ithaca College and nights at Cayuga Medical Center while Esme refurbished an 18th century house a few miles North of the city. Jasper knew these were all distractions, like he knew his philosophy degree was for him.

After struggling to gain control of his thirst for a little more than half a century, he’d decided it might be more of a mental game. Studying philosophy gave him the opportunity to take a look at morals, his own and those of his human counterparts. He’d discovered that they aren’t that different despite the difference of 150+ years of experience he had on some of his classmates. He actually thought his last year at Cornell had served him well. Acting alone as a student gave him more practice blending in and without the thirst of the others amplifying his own, it was almost easy to sit in class. Almost.

Jasper sighed. He loved his sister and sometimes felt they were as close as real twins but he couldn’t do this right now. They hadn’t had any new information in months and the family was at a stalemate. Nobody wanted to risk coming back too soon. So instead, he told his version of the truth, “Listen Rose, I can’t do this right now. I have class.” he glanced up at the clock tower he was passing 10 minutes until class. “I will let you know if Alice calls me but you know how deep she is in her past... I don't…” he hesitated. He didn’t want to reintroduce this possibility but he had to. “I don’t think we’ll have the same normal after this.”  
She sighed too, and he could tell she would have sobbed if she could have. “Yeah, Jazz” she whispered.

He wasn’t used to her acting so helpless. It unnerved him. She was much like him. She liked to be in control of situations even if it was a hands off approach. She needed to know that those she cared about were safe. Which meant the current status of their family could only be hurting her. If she was heartbroken and tearing herself apart based on the current climate of their family, what did that say about him. Was it selfish to continue to play a college student while the rest of his family mourned?  
His heart broke for Rose, just like it broke every time he watched Esme flit around the new house, but his life had been turned upside down too. Between all of his siblings leaving and his wife deciding now would be a better time to examine her past than help him cope with the nightmare situation he was single handedly the cause of, he couldn’t spare the emotional energy.

He could hear the shuffling movement in the background of the phone call and it was like Emmett was standing next to him when he chimed in, “You know Jazz, you can always come with us.” He could tell Emmett was grinning.

Jasper chuckled knowing what a trip like that would entail, and could hear a bit of his long-hidden drawl slip into his amused tone, “Thanks Em but I think I'll stick around for Esme. Wouldn’t want to interrupt any interludes you two had planned.”He could have traveled with them any time while paired but in his single state a mated pair with their high intensity emotions would've been unbearable.

He needed to get a move on if he wanted to be on time and not show his 9 o’clock class just how abnormal he was. So he conceded, “I will let you both know if I hear from Alice. Take care and come back soon ok?” They murmured and begrudgingly agreed but said their goodbyes and let him off to class.

Flipping his phone closed, Jasper continued ahead into the throng of students in front of him. It had been an unseasonably rainy September for Ithaca and he was starting to enjoy it. Alice had foreseen an overcast semester before she left for Biloxi and Jasper had taken the risk to sign up for day classes instead of banking on late semester adds and night classes. He had a plethora of options open to him with only having to worry about the occasional sunny day. Being able to walk out in the open with thousands of other students milling about, let him feel almost normal. Like he could forget the event that wreaked havoc on his family and made this mess their new normal. Instead of dwelling on the disaster that happened nearly a year ago now, he let himself pretend that he could be normal.

He stepped over puddles lining the sidewalk and dogged the students heading the other way with the best of them. The air was damp and heavy emotions tinged with caffeine hung around the corner of the library cafe like a cloud. There was an intense air of focus that clung to the humans around him as they zoomed in and out of the Olin library. Each step Jasper took towards the quad submerged him into the persona of a college kid. Surrounded by hormones, stress, and the ups and downs of college life, it was easy for Jasper to forget.

Yet, as he walked into the Arts and Sciences quad he detected a scent that raised the hairs on his arms and sent his senses into overdrive. It was so familiar that it conjured the image of Forks and if he closed his eyes it wouldn’t be so hard to believe he was actually there. He sniffed the breeze and caught the deep undertones of honey and blood like wine. His mouth watered when he caught the aromatics of freesia. It was the tantalizing aroma of Isabella Swan, lingering in the air as though she were there with him. Perhaps forgetting about the incident wasn’t entirely within his reach yet because the scent glittered dangerously in his senses, the way her blood always had, though he was pleased to notice it was muted without Edward there.

He shook off his daze, bounding up the steps of his lecture hall. That couldn’t have been real. He gazed out over the quad, scanning every brunette he could see within the quarter mile. He was on the other side of the country attending a college she had never spoken of before, that his family had never mentioned. It had to have been a strong connection to a memory that made him smell her as though she’d been there. He glanced around one more time before finally entering the building. He needed to find a way to distract himself fast. Lest his musings actually summon the Swan girl to the East coast.


	2. Near

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper is started to smell the same scent as before class and follows it to its source.

“Alright class, just a reminder that Monday is our duel lecture with Professor Monkovich. She and her students from Literature as Moral Inquiry, will be joining us here at our normal class time, so the lecture hall will be a bit more full than usual.” Dr. Stanish clapped his hands, which was their usual cue for dismissal. 

Jasper’s mind had whirled throughout the lecture and he’d just barely focused back in enough to gather his things and start the walk to his next class, the lecture had something to do with popular music and the effect on the ethical outlook of its consumers. He knew he could review what had happened in class with perfect clarity, perks of being a vampire, but the forefront of his mind had been focused on the downward spiral his thoughts always fell into when thinking about Isabella Swan. This time, he’d wondered how she had stood up to Edward and told him he needed to leave. With all of the infatuation pouring off of the couple he would have never predicted they would separate so quickly and cleanly. If you could count Edward hunting Victoria, to protect the human he was still obsessed with, a clean break. Infatuation usually ends messy on both sides, neither side willing to commit to staying or leaving and causing more harm than good. So Jasper must have really fucked up and scared the girl if she was willing to push Edward away so quickly. 

If he would have hunted before the party things would be different. If he hadn’t been so focused on stopping Edward, Bella wouldn’t have gotten hurt. If he hadn’t been so focused on controlling Edwards' hunger, Bella might not have sent his family away. If he had been able to protect Bella, his family might still be together. If he would have exercised more control over the past half century instead of letting the family clean up his messes, his wife might have stuck around.

This trail of thoughts was nothing new. He had been wondering more or less the same thing and berating himself just as hard, if not harder for the past year. If he hadn’t messed up that night everything would still be normal. His family would still be in Forks and everyone would still be happy.

He must’ve been projecting as he started his walk back towards his car, because his phone rang with a name that didn’t appear too often. He contemplated ignoring it, just to give himself a few minutes alone, but gave in.

Jasper felt his mood lift just enough before he pressed accept and raised the phone to his cheek. His accent fell right into place when he said, “What the hell d’you want you bastard?”

Peter’s chuckle echoed across the phone and he grumbled out “You know you only picked up because it was me.”

It was true. In his previous mood Jasper would not have picked up for the other members of his family. Jasper hardly ever heard from his brother of war, but he always managed to be there when it was important. Peter and Charlotte’s last visit had been to Forks a year and a half ago and that had been cut short because of Edward’s paranoia over human drinking vampires being in the same town as his Bella. Look at how far that had gotten them.

Peter's voice broke through the phone again a little harsher than before and Jasper knew Peter’s call wasn’t just a friendly hello. Peter’s calls always had a purpose, “I’m not sensing any self deprecation over there am I Major? I thought I told you to get over that.” 

Jasper straightened up at the sound of his military title. He felt like he had been roughly shoved out of his role as a college student. Jasper huffed out a sharp laugh and nearly growled, “No more than usual,” though he hadn’t meant to. Peter was not his therapist but he was nosier than one.

“It wasn’t your damn fault Major.” Peter growled back. He must have really had it with Jasper’s moping if he was only using his title. 

Jasper sighed, they’d had this exact conversation days after Alice had left and again in the days after Alice had called to explain herself. They shouldn’t expect her back soon and Jasper should not follow her. That was an order. They had been a pair, not mates, and that was over. Jasper had never felt such a big shock in his existence. Even finding out he was a vampire and that he would never be able to see his human family again was overshadowed by the violent urge to feed. Alice leaving and calling their marriage an arrangement had him gasping for breaths he didn’t really need. 

Peter had been the one to call him and convinced him to get his ass up off the floor both times. It had been worth it. He almost felt like he had a purpose now, even if the purpose was only to develop the kind of strength that came so naturally to Carlisle. Peter, of course, hadn’t wanted anything but for Jasper to stop wallowing in self pity. Peter understood why Jasper had to abstain from the normal vampire lifestyle but that didn’t mean he was going to give it up for himself. 

Jasper relented, “So you’ve said.” He lifted his hand to grab the strap of the bag hanging over his shoulder, bracing himself. He and Peter both fought with logic but recently if felt like they were pulling from different pools and Jasper wished he had access to Peter’s.

He wanted to visit Peter and Charlotte but last time he brought it up, Peter had told him Esme needed him. It was true. Esme was a wreck and he couldn’t let her think all of her children had abandoned her. If anything, this event had brought them closer together. He could not remember a time before this that he and Esme had spent so much time together. Recently, he had been going out of his way to help her renovate the 18th century house she was working on, on the weekends. Now though, he knew Rosalie and Emmett were going to come home, at least for a short time, in a week or two. That could be enough for Esme and Carlisle. Two children to support them while one went to visit an old friend. Yeah. Jasper had convinced himself. 

He readied himself again and eased into the conversation like the courteous southern boy he was, “Well Peter, you and Char have been so kind to visit me for years. You are always making the trip to see me, wherever the Cullens take me and it’s not that I don’t love when you come and visit but it is always so short. How would you feel if I came to visit for a few months this winter?”

Peter hmmed and huffed over the phone but Jasper felt the no before Peter said it. “You know I really miss you brother but now’s not the right time.” Jasper could hear Charlotte in the background asking why it wasn’t the right time. He’d like to know as well but Peter didn’t let on. Instead, he continued rather calmly but sternly and Jasper had the impression he was speaking to Char too, “You need to stay where you are for now. No, I don’t know why so don't give me any of that shit.” 

Peter must have a hunch. Jasper hated not knowing why but he trusted Peter. It’s just, why would one of Peter’s hunches tell him that he needed to stay in goddamned Ithaca, NY? It wasn’t that Peter had the ability to see the future, because he would vehemently deny it. He also couldn’t see things as they were in the present or past, but anyone who knew Peter knew that he had a knack for just knowing nonspecific details and having vague feelings about things. Most of the time these things came in really handy and a couple of times it had saved their asses. Jasper had a feeling that Peter’s knack for knowing things played a big part in how he and Char had been able to successfully escape the Newborn Army nearly a century ago and then again when Peter successfully snuck back into camp years later to convince Jasper to leave. 

In his distracted state, Jasper nearly took out the person walking in front of him in the quad, who’d stopped to tie his shoe and snapped back to the conversation. Whatever the hunch was, it must have been really strong because he could hear Peter nearly snap at him mate, “He needs to stay where he is. We need to stay where we are. For now,” Peter struggled to slow his speech and lower his voice, “we all need to let things take their course.” He kept talking though, which was unusual for Peter because usually he was a cryptic bastard when it came to it. “You, though Major, need to do what the humans say and get a grip.” 

Jasper could feel a lecture lurking and headed down a fork in the path that would take him the longer, more deserted, way around the library. Lord knew he didn’t need any of the humans overhearing what Peter would next have to say. 

Peter took the time to steel himself and Jasper knew they were going back to topic A. Peter had been spouting the same things since the Cullens had moved but there was a conviction, now, in Peter’s voice that told him this wasn’t just life advice, it was a hunch. “You did nothing wrong that night and I will tear the head off of anyone who dares say otherwise. You realize you are a goddamn empath right?” He said this a matter-of-factly and didn’t stop to wait for an answer. “You’ve been dealing with the rest of the coven’s thirst for half a century and sure sometimes you slipped but that was only when you were a god damn wreck about yourself thanks to the judgement of your so-called family.” He said the word like a curse. “Ever heard of a self fulfilling prophecy?” If vampires could get winded, Jasper imagined Peter would be right now. 

Jasper was passing in front of the Olin library’s quad facing windows when Peter spoke again. “We have talked about that night, time and time again, Major. At no point did you describe wanting to feast on that little girl. For fuck’s sake you have said it in your own words! You were only trying to protect her from Edward. She was his fucking singer! And if you felt a bit crazed after peeling that off of Eddie-boy I’m not surprised! Do you know how many people find their singer and don’t make them their next meal? If anything Edward needs to be thanking you for saving his ass!” Peter certainly felt justified and his point may have started to seep into Jasper’s subconscience… a little.

He still felt Peter had moderately insulted him though, so he bit back, “What are you talkin to me about family for?” 

Jasper and Peter traded jibes back and forth as Jasper rounded the building, still heading for his car, but he was once again stopped in his tracks. He stopped paying attention to whatever was coming out of Peter’s mouth and took a long drag of the air. Chocolate, wine, freesia, hung in the air for the second time that day. There was no god damned way that couldn’t be Isabella Swan. The scent was fresh, even more so than the last one. She had to have passed between these two buildings less than a half and hour ago. 

Jasper’s mind went into overdrive, trying not to crush the phone still clutched in his hand. He moved, far quicker than he should for a vampire on a college campus, to follow the scent. The scent was emanating from between the two buildings, but was concentrated on the stairwell and the main entrance to the library.

Jasper was petrified but marched forward. If it was really her what would that mean for him and his family? What if she saw him? Would she be mad? Why was she here? He grit his teeth. He needed to find out if it was really her or not.

He braced himself, grabbed a hold of the library door handle, and stalked his way inside at a more human pace. Passers by could still hear someone shouting from his phone and when Jasper recognized this he simply ordered, “Peter, shut up.” The command was quiet, but it was enough for the other vampire to hear him. 

He stalked his way through the lobby, scanning the students around him, and probably creeping some of them out too. He picked his way carefully through the moving crowd of students, gazing out across giant study tables facing the windows to the quad. Tables were full of students working. There were plenty of brunettes but none of them had the same curve to their shoulders or the same set in their jaw as Isabella Swan. Good, if she wasn’t in the study section, that made it far less likely that she had already seen him. Then, he noticed the rich scent lead him to the left of where he had come in, rather than into the study section. Jasper moved stealthily towards the windows of the library’s cafe and peered into the closed off space, eyes scanning the lines, the workers, and the tables crowded with students.

If he hadn’t been looking specifically for her, he didn’t think he would have noticed her. Isabella Swan sat hunched over a table, laptop and drink in front of her, chewing on the end of her straw.

For a moment he couldn’t move. Unlike all of those years in battle, he did not react, instead he watched and pondered. He observed her as she sipped on her frozen drink and typed away on her computer. He watched her huff and dig around in her bag on the floor. What was she doing at Cornell? Had she been looking for them? She took out a textbook and began rapidly flipping through pages looking for just the right one before she stopped and slouched back in her chair, crossing one leg over the other and leaning the text against her knee. Why would she end up on this specific campus if it wasn’t them? What was she going to think if she did find out they were here?

Jasper lifted his phone towards his face and croaked out “Peter, I have to go,” before letting the call end. 

Then, Jasper did what he had never done when attacked, something he would later convince himself was planned and strategic. He ran. 

Out of the library and across campus, he almost didn’t stop to get his car but was afraid that if he’d left it there she might see it and recognize it somehow. Then, He drove back to the house as fast as he could.

-

Jasper had called Carlisle and Esme on the ride home. Only letting them know that he needed to see them as soon as possible. They had decisions to make. He had also tried to call Rosalie and Emmett, to let them know about the developments but those calls ended, no voicemail set up on either of their phones. He contemplated calling Edward or even Alice, but the squeezing feeling in his chest made him reconsider. Neither of them wanted to hear from him.  
When he arrived at the house, both Carlisle and Esme were standing under the awning, door open behind them. It was too early for Carlisle to be on shift yet and Esme would have made it home from the house she was working on easily before he had. When he nodded in greeting though, they both headed back inside the house, and he followed. 

Carlisle started before Jasper could form words, worry and curiosity obvious in his tone, “Jasper?” but Jasper could feel more than that. Carlisle was trying to maintain a sense of composure but he was as high strung as he could get, which could be seen in the way his arm was wrapped securely around Esme’s shoulders as they stood in the living room. Esme on the other hand was an anxious mess, worry seeping off of her in waves. 

Jasper didn’t know where to start. His thoughts had been in a rut all day and kept coming back to one thing, over and over. So he started, his voice taut. “Isabella Swan,” he could feel the shock press through the air towards him but he continued, “I caught a waft of her scent before class today and brushed it off. I shouldn’t have though, I was able to follow it to the library just moments before I called both of you. She’s here, in Ithaca.”

Jasper didn’t know whether he had expected to feel panic or what but most of what he felt coming off the pair was a deep yearning and heartache. Esme would be in tears if she could shed them. She turned and tucked herself into Carlisle’s side as he wrapped his arms around her. For Carlisle the feeling wasn’t nearly as strong but Jasper would reckon nearly all of the man’s worry had vanished. 

Carlisle was the first one to speak, “Bella is in Ithaca?” at Jasper’s nod he continued, “Attending Cornell?” Jasper could feel Carlisle’s curiosity peak and a pitch of worry creep in. 

Jasper squared his shoulders. “It appears that way.” He started thinking about the effort Edward had made to get them away from Bella at her wishes. There was no way she would want to see them. “I caught her scent in the quad and followed it to the library. She’s most likely taking classes there.” 

Carlisle hmmed and Esme peeled herself from his neck to look at his face. She whispered heartbroken, “What do we do? What about Edward?”

Jasper spoke up, matter-of-factly, “We should leave.” 

He was on the receiving end of two very surprised expressions, one more hurt than the other, but Carlisle leveled him with a look that said he wasn’t going to let Jasper make the decision for the whole coven. “Jasper, we just settled again. Half our family isn’t even here to have input in the matter.”

Jasper bristled at Carlisle’s modulated tone. Away from the shock of Isabella’s scent he was able to think, to strategize, to rationalize. He wanted a plan and he believed he knew the needs of all of the members who should have a say, which mostly included his own fears. So he insisted, “Edward nearly dragged us out of Forks at the wishes of this girl. If we are going to put up that much effort initially to give her space then shouldn’t we afford her that now?” He placed a hand on the back of the couch and lifted one to gesture, trying to emanate the sense of calm he wished he would feel, but an anxiety kept creeping over him about what she would think and what she would say if she had the opportunity to confront him.

Esme continued to look hurt but spoke rather softly with a bit of hope in her voice. “Cornell is a big campus.” She looked at Carlisle imploring him to agree with her, “I am sure we can still give Bella her space, she doesn’t even need to know we are here.” 

Carlisle nodded with Esme and Jasper felt dread slowly start to replace the anxiety in his stomach. “Esme is right. You are the only one on the campus Jasper, and if you want to withdraw for the semester that is your own choice, but it should be easy enough for you to avoid her. We will wait until a few more of us come back and then we will discuss a more permanent place to settle again but until then, I think we can manage.” He smiled fondly at Jasper, reminding him that he wasn’t just a son to Esme. “You are a vampire with decades of experience strategizing. How hard could it be for you to evade and avoid a human girl?”


	3. Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper realizes that avoiding Isabella Swan might not be as easy as Carlisle had hoped.

Jasper considered himself lucky at this point. He hadn’t sniffed but a faint trace of Isabella Swan since he’d found her in the library that past week. He’d been traveling through the quad early before most classes let out, so they wouldn’t run into each other. He had thought maybe Carlisle was right. Maybe it would be easy to avoid one girl on a campus this large.

Jasper was trying his best to look relaxed, leaning far back in his chair, the way he had seen so many other college guys do. He had picked up on so many body language subtleties in the last year. This had changed a lot since he was last part of a social scene. Then again, that had been back when women were courted and wooed. Jasper hadn’t seen much of that on this campus.

It wasn’t that Jasper was trying to build a social life,  _ fuck no _ . However, the more comfortable the humans were around him the more he would be able to test his strength. If Edward was around, Jasper was sure he would tell him this was an awful idea. If Alice were still here, she would remind him to hunt frequently and spend as little time around the humans as possible. He didn’t want to do that anymore. 

Jasper knew he would eventually get sick and tired of attending school. He had aged well as a teen in the mid 1800s and knew that he could pass as an adult easily enough, in fact just being able to pick out his own clothes had left Jasper looking older. He didn’t need to dress young anymore and though he still made sure to cover his arms, he wore what he was comfortable in. This was usually a loose button down shirt and jeans with some sort of boot. Emmett liked to make fun of him for wearing cowboy boots and Rosalie had bought him bike boots for this reason. It was supposed to pour today so Jasper had forgone his bike and happily chosen his cowboy boots, Emmett be damned.

From his leaned back position, he watched the other students enter the classroom and decide their fate. Some of them weren’t normally a part of Dr. Stanish’s lecture and didn’t know any better when choosing where to sit. He saw three of them take the seats closest to the wall in the second row, this was in prime territory for Dr. Stanish to pick on them. He loved using real people in his examples and scenarios. Jasper pitied them because he would have to feel their uncomfortable embarrassment later in class.

He had been taking deep breaths, trying to desensitize himself while people filed in, but eventually the room was filled with nearly double the humans that were usually in that lecture hall and people started sharing tables. Their scents permeated every every cubic inch of air and Jasper’s throat grew from an itch to a dry burn. Venom pooled in Jasper’s mouth and he decided it would be a good time to start conserving his breaths, only moving his chest to make it look like he was breathing. He decided he should be ok if he needed to breathe to talk. The thirst wasn’t too bad and though he hadn’t hunted recently, as long as nobody had any open wounds, he should be able to focus throughout the lecture.

However, in his haste to shorten his breath, he had missed a key scent. Jasper didn’t know Isabella Swan was there until she had made her way into the room, backpack slung over one shoulder and a disgruntled frown on her face. 

Jasper straightened, utterly focused, locking his eyes onto her, watching her as she looked for a place to sit. He froze too, hoping that if he didn’t move, he wouldn’t draw her eyes in his direction. He would do his best not to get called on and avoid her hearing his voice too, though he knew Dr. Stanish always liked to call on the least expected person and Jasper hadn’t been picked in a couple of classes. 

Jasper’s eyes flicked between Bella and the door. She was still in his way, blocking his exit. There would be no way for him to get up and leave without her noticing him. There was no way he could run out of the room either, that would cause too many questions. He had to wait.

He didn’t have to wait very long however, Bella’s eyes shifted in that second to land on him.

They were both still and silent for the longest moment in Jasper’s existence before another student shuffled around Bella and snapped her out of her daze. She made her way to a table several seats over from Jasper and kept whipping her head back towards him, like she was checking to see if he was still there. 

Jasper couldn’t get a sound read on Bella. Her emotions were bound to give him whiplash flashing between shock, anger, confusion, hope, and surprise. Most overwhelmingly she felt shock though. Jasper understood this since it had taken him several days to get over the fact that they had just happened to end up in the same town yet again.

When Jasper tried to meet her eyes again, she flinched and looked away, confusion and hurt overriding her system. This made Jasper flinch and withdraw too.

As the lecture started, Jasper let himself pretend to relax back into his chair, though he was far too tense to take any enjoyment out of it. He usually thought he put off a pretty good college guy vibe. Today, he found it hard to remember to keep “breathing.” It’s not as if he forgot the importance, no, but he did get distracted. Having Isabella Swan in the same room, knowing he was here and that his family was bound to be nearby, made it impossible to focus on anything else.

He vigilantly kept his inner eye open to her emotions and found himself trying to decipher every reason for the emotions. 

She was obviously hurt because she remembered her birthday and how a trusted family member had lunged at her as though she were no better than a deer in the Olympic National Park.

She was obviously confused because she hadn’t expected to see him here if ever again. 

That flash of anger he felt earlier was obviously well deserved. He had ruined the life she had wanted. He helped ruin her relationship.

Hurt for the betrayal she must have felt.

Jasper knew they should have left, there was no real reason for them to stay other than the hassle of establishing roots in a new community. He should have pressed the issue more with Carlisle. She shouldn’t have to deal with their presence.

Jasper wasn’t called on during that class, something he would forever be grateful for because he was unsure if he would have been able to take a breath or open his mouth. He sat frozen for nearly the whole lecture. Bella hadn’t faired as well, she had been asked to speak about half way through. 

“Ah,” said Dr. Stanish, “To the lady sitting there in the third row, yes you.” Bella had leaned for word shocked at being called on without raising her hand. Dr. Stanish continued, “I trust you have read  _ Pride and Prejudice _ ?” When Bella nodded he continued. “You seemed like the type to have read it so I will trust that you know what I am talking about.” Bella’s emotions tinged towards nervousness and worry. “In  _ Pride and Prejudice _ , Austen’s ethical piece, her narrative decision, was to convey Darcy’s struggle between love and the pressures of the social hierarchy not through the male eye but through the narrative of her female protagonist. The ethical issue is not new, and has been told from both sides time and time again, but I was wondering what your take on Austen’s decision was. Did her decision to tell Elizabeth and Darcy’s story through the narrative of a female character, despite the point of view being omniscient third person, bias the reader? What does that say about Austen herself?”

Jasper felt the tension roll out of Bella and anticipation rise in her. The class waited a few moments for her to begin speaking. Bella began, clearing her throat and projecting as best as someone who was used to speaking in smaller rooms could, “Any decision an author makes has the chance and purpose of biasing the reader. I think the real interesting idea to explore is was it Jane Austen’s intent to place this understanding and unifying bias towards her female characters on her readers or was it the social expectations of her time that caused the shift in narration? Most of us know that Jane Austen published all of her works anonymously. Which is not at all surprising considering the intricate customs and mannerisms of social life at the time that she managed to imbed in her writing. Her works were modern in the time that they were written. I am positive it would have been seen as a scandal for her to have placed ownership on these books when they depicted a stream of consciousness that was clearly bent on ignoring the carefully established social hierarchy in favor of love.”

Jasper sat stunned, listening to Bella go on about Jane Austin’s intention and her own ethical decisions of the time. She was clearly passionate, though about the book or the philosophy of ethics he couldn’t discern. He decided that based on her class it was probably the book. She could take the whole class for a spin around the ethical rollercoaster as Dr. Stanish was often caught saying. 

Jasper felt a smile lift the corners of his lips and he actually relaxed back into the chair, at some point he had started taking shallow breaths again. He could pick her scent out from the rest, hanging on its fragrance and urging his body to ignore it. He couldn’t let her down again. Isabella Swan had found a voice. Not only that but she looked at him, when she finished, like she had made a decision. He could pick up on nothing outside of determination and resolution as she turned to look at him.

Jasper knew he had to face the music at the end of this lecture. He had to find some way to apologize before she verbally tore him to shreds. He wondered if he would get the chance. He wondered what kind of fate awaited him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was both easier and harder to write than anticipated. I know next to nothing about the relations of philosophy and literature. Not only that but I've never read Pride and Prejudice! Please forgive me if any of this sounds blatantly wrong. It is all based off of research I did at 9 o'clock in the evening which is when I usually sit down to write. Otherwise, I hope you enjoyed it! I do not own Twilight.


	4. Honest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jasper is incredibly self-centered and daft for an empath.

When the class ended, Jasper could tell Bella was ready. Despite having taken notes the whole period and engaged in the discussion, everything was packed and she was sitting there, waiting him out. It was amusing the way she thought she’d get the pounce on him. Had she forgotten the way he could read her anticipation and dread? Apparently not. 

Jasper felt a wave of impatience smack him as she stood up and faced him, clearly waiting for him to move as the last of the stragglers made their way out of the room. She pursed her lips and shifted her weight. Jasper sat unmoving for a second before rising out of his own chair. He wondered just how much Isabella Swan had changed. 

Grabbing his bag he took a deep breath readying himself, “Isabella--” but he didn’t get the chance to finish.

She held up her hand and, looking pointedly at the professors still chatting in the room, muttered “Save it.”

He approached her and she quickly, for a human, grabbed his arm and began dragging him out of the room. Jasper threw a glance at the window first, hoping she wasn’t planning on taking him outside, the sun had just broken through on a relatively overcast day and he’d have to wait it out for at least a half an hour. He knew he could overpower the human, she was only dragging him because he let her, but was worried somewhat about accidentally breaking her in the process. Instead, she proceeded to drag him down a dimly lit hallway, shifting her hand to grab his wrist instead of his sleeve, but never letting go.

She marched him down hallways until they reached less populated ones that housed offices and study rooms. Checking the window in the door first, she led him into a small room lined with bookshelves and that housed a large conference table in the middle. If Jasper had to guess, based on the smell, he would say that it hadn’t been used since the spring semester. 

She finally let go of his wrist once she had closed the door, and rounded on him. He felt a flurry of emotions radiating off of her again. Hurt, disbelief, anger, frustration, and a pain that sang so clear it nearly brought Jasper to his knees. 

By the look in Isabella Swan’s eyes, Jasper could tell she knew what she was doing. She was inflicting on him all of the pain that he had caused her. 

He let her feel his remorse, continuing their silent conversation. He no longer knew what he wanted to say to her but he had to figure it out. She had proven herself to be a completely different person, a stronger person, in just one class session but he still owed her the world in apologies.

He could feel the frustration building up in her and he knew at any moment she could explode. He couldn’t bring himself to speak however. She had been the one that had been wronged. She had every right to send them away and if she had something that she wanted to say to him, he owed her the chance to say it. She clearly sent Edward to send them away for a reason. She was probably irate at having to see Jasper again.

Though, she wasn’t glaring at him as much as staring at him solemnly and her emotions were waning more towards hurt. He could see how she had aged in the time that they had been sent away from her. The already thin girl had a very distinct jawline and dark purplish-blue bruises under her eyes, similar to his own. Had he caused this?

When she spoke he clung on to every word. “Jasper,” her voice was gravely but she didn’t bother clearing it. Her voice got higher as she continued, eyes beginning to water. “What are you doing here? Why are you here?” she implored. She no longer stood up straight, her shoulders hunched forward as if bearing an incredible weight.

Jasper had been ready for a verbal lashing and this was all that came out of small Isabella Swan? “Isab-Bella, I need to apologize,” he started but he didn’t get far. 

He was surprised when she took steps towards him, looking up at him. Confusion and pain filled the room as she continued speaking, “You all left me, t-to come here?” 

If Jasper were new to his gift, he would be on the floor. She wasn’t pushing this on him anymore, this was all she felt. How was she not a shell of a person?

The thought of responding sent a shockwave of pain to Jasper’s unbeating heart but he did it anyway. He owed her that much. His voice was thick with emotion when he was finally able to respond, “We needed another hospitable climate. Carlisle got lucky that Ithaca was hiring. We knew with the lake that it would get significantly heavier precipitation. Alice saw...” He trailed off; it still hurt to talk about her. He saw her flinch at the mention of her friend. Did Bella really want to know this? Alice had been distraught leaving Bella and he could sense that the feeling was mutual. Why send them away if it would cause her this much pain?

“Alice, a-and the others, are they with you?” Bella’s voice broke as she looked up at Jasper with tear filled eyes. Fear, longing, and a tinge of desperation creeping into her voice. She grabbed Jasper’s sleeve again like he might leave.

Jasper took the time to recall just how confusing of a human Isabella Swan was. She had never done what was expected of her before they left, she had changed in the last year since he’s seen her yes but why should she stop surprising him now? The fear wasn’t the surprise, no, it was the longing, it was the fact that she was holding onto his shirt with a fragment of desperationation lodged somewhere in there.

Her flurry of emotions wasn’t going to stop anytime soon he realized. It would stop just about as soon as she would let leave. So, he sighed and pulled out a chair at the table knowing that humans got tired after a while and she didn’t look too steady on her feet to begin with. Nodding towards the table, he gestured with the arm that wasn’t already occupied. He felt the familiar “M’lady,” slip out of his lips. There was no harm in being polite.

She looked confused for a second before slowly letting go of his sleeve and sitting down on the edge of the chair. She gestured expectantly for him to sit as well. So, he sat facing her and “relaxed” back into the chair the way he had in class.

He wasn’t sure the answer she wanted, _ she couldn’t possibly want to see the family could she?  _ Her emotions were going to fry his brain. He could try to soothe her, take the straight path to reassuring her they were on the verge of leaving, but decided honesty was the best policy, the Volturri hadn’t come for them yet and she may not ask them to leave again.

He let his honest intentions find her as he spoke, “We have settled just outside of Ithaca, all of us, but some are traveling at the moment.” He paused, unsure of just how much he should tell, but when her curiosity sprung up he continued starting with the easiest first, “Emmett and Rosalie just got back from their honeymoon around Europe.”

Her voice rang with the shock she felt, “Honeymoon? Weren’t they already married?” Her eyebrows drew together to make a tiny crease. The shock was so strong, so unexpected that it almost blocked out the other emotions. Almost. 

Jasper smiled though, trying to keep the air relaxed, and explained in an amused tone, “Well yes but they like to get remarried every couple of decades or so. They are very affectionate mates and to be honest they like the attention. That and it gives them a way to take a few months of travel without Esme growing worried.” 

He saw Bella’s lip twitch at the corner, just a little, and a sprig of warmth bloom in her emotions. Maybe she missed them after all.

He continued on with their original topic, knowing he’d have to face his uncomfortable explanation sooner or later. He shifted to sit up a little straighter in the chair, drawing a deep breath in of her chocolate and wine scent, not waiting for the Fressia to hit him before continuing, “As for Alice, she is currently researching her human life in Mississippi.” He tried not to sound detached but he was hoping she didn’t ask any more about her. 

However, Bella’s eyebrows scrunched together again, “Mississippi?” She asked, “Why aren’t you with her Jasper?”

The quizicalness and slight confusion would have been cute if she wasn’t asking a question that would hurt him so. He should have known this was coming. He steadied himself. “She-I,” he began not really knowing how to explain it to someone who hadn’t witnessed it. He hadn’t even had to explain it to Peter. He tried again not wanting to paint Alice in a bad light but wanting to offer the truth, “Alice did not want me to come with her. She actually left me no choice in the matter…” he trailed off, he wasn’t explaining it right.

Bella was growing concerned but that wasn’t right either. She had no reason to be concerned for him. 

He sighed audibly, “I returned from hunting one night to find a note and no Alice. She left me.” His heart ached. A vampire’s life could be very lonely without a mate.

“Why Jasper?” Bella asked in a soft voice, like she was trying to comfort him. “Why would she do that? Aren’t you married?” Her hand reached for his.

Bella’s inquisition along with her willingness to comfort who she probably viewed as her almost killer made him chuckle. He forgot how naive she was and how little she actually knew about their world. So he filled her in, albeit a bit bitterly. “Marriage is but a slip of paper to most vampires,” he muttered. It hadn’t just been a slip of paper to him. “It took me a decade and a half to convince Alice to finally marry me. I loved her. She brought me out of a very dark place in my life, Bella. Saved me from a very haunting existence.” Her eyes never strayed from his. “I thought she was going to stay with me. She made it very clear in her note however that our partnership was out of convenience. We were never mates.”

Jasper knew before Bella asked what her next question would be. “Mates are existence-long partners for a vampire. They are someone that your instinct drives you to protect and someone you love unconditionally.”  _ And Alice doesn’t love me unconditionally _ but Jasper left that part unsaid. He finished, “I have seen vampires be driven mad knowing their mate was in danger and lose their sanities if their mate was killed. It’s an unbreakable bond.”

Bella sat stunned for a moment, probably digesting a lot more than she expected to bite off of that conversation. When she spoke, he was reminded of the intellectual way she spoke in class, “I’m sorry that happened to you Jasper.” She spoke to him tenderly but with a power he didn’t know she had. “If Alice chose to leave you then perhaps it was what you both needed. I remember E-” She cut herself off before continuing, “I remember finding out that she had no memories of her human life. That has to be something incredibly painful to deal with, something she might not have wanted to drag you through unnecessarily. Maybe this is her way of letting you go so you can find your own path,” she paused hesitantly, “or your true mate?” Her voice rose at the end like she was unsure of herself but her emotions shone through with sincerity and faith in her words. 

Jasper had never felt such appreciation for a human. Bella’s words soothed his heart like a balm on a wound. He was speechless at the gentleness she offered him and projected his gratitude nonetheless.

She seemed to take what she said to heart too, becoming thoughtful for a short while. What she had said, or thought, seemed to bolster a little more confidence in her. Hope creeped its way back in and her pep talk continued though seemingly targeted at herself this time. “Is that how Edward convinced everyone to leave Forks?” She asked without pause.

Jasper was confused but let her continue on without interruption. 

“I loved him,” she continued. “ but I know he lied to me in those woods.” Her eyes grew hard and filled again but she kept pressing on. Jasper flipped his hand to grip hers in return, giving her the only support he could when he was so lost himself. “I couldn’t believe that Esme,” she choked back a sob, becoming alarmingly more emotional, “and Alice would want to leave me.” 

She looked wildly into Jasper’s eyes now, seeming to be seeking confirmation but Jasper couldn't confirm anything when he didn’t know what was happening.  _ Left her in the woods? _ What the hell was she talking about?

“He must’ve known we weren’t mates and tried to break it off in a way where I wouldn’t try to follow him…” She lost her momentum, like she realized at the same time Jasper had just how fucked up their situation was. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I got my Cricut Explore Air 2 in the mail and have been a little distracted! Here's to finally writing the conversation I have dreaded since the start of this fic. Please let me know if it sounds too forces, as the initial "you left me" conversations sometimes do. It took me several more days on top of getting distracted to write this because it was may goal to not have it sound so forced.


	5. The Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella and Jasper come to an agreement.

When Jasper was finally able to speak he was using all of his concentration to not crush the human girl’s hand. His voice was tense and he felt a fury build up inside of him, reminding him of all too powerful emotions from his past. “Bella,” He began, trying not to jump to any conclusions but knowing where this was going already, “are you saying that Edward took you into the woods, broke off your relationship, and left you there?”

As Isabella Swan’s cheeks grew flushed, Jasper reminded himself of every connection she had to his family, willing his body not to react. Jasper ruffled with indignity when he felt the trickle of venom in his mouth. Edward wasn’t around to magnify the blood lust, yet his body knew what the flush under her cheeks meant. He was still attracted to her blood even if intellectually he knew how much she meant to him and his family.

Shame filled her when she responded, “It’s really my fault.” She tried to pull her hand away from Jasper’s hand but he wasn’t ready to let go yet. She had always been harder to read than others but through touch her emotions came through crystal clear, intensified. When he focused on her emotions, it made it easier to tell her apart from prey, and that’s what he decided to latch onto. 

Bella continued, looking away, “He brought me out there but we weren’t very far in, just secluded enough for a private conversation.” She shook her head, a dark pit filling where her shame had been. Jasper pushed a little calm her way. “I lost my damn mind when he told me that he didn’t love me anymore, that it would be like he had never existed. I didn’t know how to handle him leaving and how everyone else had already left. I freaked out when he said goodbye and tried to follow him.” She shook her head, half covering her face with her other palm. Shame brought its way back to the forefront. “I was so stupid. I knew I couldn’t follow him, that it would be impossible, but I led myself deeper into the woods and eventually…” She trailed off. “A search party was sent to look for me. A man from the reservation found me that night.”

When Bella revealed that Edward had lied to her and the whole family, Jasper was in shock. Edward had always used his ability to read their minds in his own favor but to straight out lie to the family? He knew, he heard and knew through Jasper how everyone felt about that move. It had been heartbreaking to so many members of their family. This betrayal would be heartbreaking news too. 

Jasper knew his rage was warranted but it still scared him. Intense emotions like this had led to him slipping in the past and he didn’t want that to happen, he couldn’t be a danger to Bella again. He quickly released Bella’s hand, standing and positioning himself behind the seat he had been sitting in. He wanted to curse Edward’s name.  _ How could Edward be so stupid? _ Of course Bella would try to chase after him. She had been utterly infatuated with him. How could he treat her with such disrespect? To not provide her or their family with the legitimate reason they all were leaving tarnished the whole relationship. Now that Jasper knew, how was he supposed to face Edward with the same sort of respect he had once had? How was he supposed to give his family this information? It would just give them another reason to mourn the life they lost.

While Jasper was warring with himself Bella had been growing ever more uneasy. She shifted in her seat to cross her legs and fold her arms in front of her. She no longer looked like the confident girl Jasper had seen in class. He tried to reach out and detect where her head space might be at the moment but all he could tell was that she was worried and still a little shame filled. 

Jasper spat out in disdain, “What a righteous bastard he was to do that to you.” 

Bella was shocked, though Jasper couldn’t tell if it was from his vocabulary or from the purity of emotion that she could hear in his voice. 

“Edward calls himself a gentleman, yet he grew up in an age of deceit. Our family should have known something like this would happen.” Jasper knew he was letting his anger get the best of him. He respected Edward and cared for him as a brother but he was also pissed at his brother. Jasper turned his focus back towards the brunette who deserved every ounce of it. Her emotions held long echoes of pain. What had she been through must have felt insurmountable, yet she was strong enough to overcome. He wouldn’t admit it but his voice bordered on reverent, he held a deep respect for anyone who was strong enough to overcome personal battles, “Bella, you are so strong. To have dealt with this alone is something no one should have dealt with. Everyone was distraught over leaving, if they knew they could still see you... Edward will not come back to the same trusting family he left, I promise.”

Bella began to shake her head almost immediately, “No! No- I wasn’t alone.” Bella’s voice grew fond, “I had a friend who helped me through all of this, I wouldn’t be here without him.” She let her feet drop back down to the floor, “Jake helped me see past all of the misery.” She paused, “I was a zombie before he agreed to my reckless schemes.”

Jasper’s curiosity flared but he let her continue. 

“Jake helped put me back together.” She smiled in recollection, “He even helped find some new parts to replace those that were broke.” Bella chuckled but Jasper felt as though he was the outsider listening to an inside joke. Then, without any reason that Jasper could find, he felt Bella’s mood darken in a way it hadn’t even when her looming emotional pit made its appearance.

Bella looked up at Jasper with some sort of desperation in her eyes. He hadn’t seen anyone look at him like that in a long time. He was hooked. Jasper had always been a sucker for a damsel in distress. Though, Isabella Swan didn’t seem like an ordinary damsel and he wasn’t sure what her distress might entail. 

“Jasper,” her voice quivered, “you can’t-” 

Jasper panicked. He didn’t know what he had done, other than the obvious attacking her at her birthday party, but he felt repentant. He’d do anything to make it up to her. 

Bella’s breath hitched, “You can’t tell the others.” Her eyes brimmed over with tears. 

Tell them what? That she was here? Why? Was she afraid that they were in on the lie? He would assure her that they were not. “Bella, none of us knew he had said or done those things to you. You can bet he’d lose his head if near anyone found out he’d left you like that. Besides, everyone was heartbroken to leave you. They would love the chance to see you again.”

She shook her head wildly, “No! I can’t.” Jasper felt resolve settle into her. “I can’t do that to any of them. Edward was a part of their family long before I was. I can’t let what he did ruin anyone’s relationship with him. Would Esme even be able to handle it? Besides, Rosalie never cared for me. I was aware enough to know that and Carlisle didn’t put a stop to any of it. He’s the head of the coven but enables Edward’s every whim.” She tucked her arms tightly across her chest. She was withdrawing. 

She had made a point that Jasper he tried hard not to think about. He wanted to maintain as much respect as he could for their coven leader, but he couldn’t ignore that Carlisle had been handing Edward the reins and Alice the binoculars for decades. She made a few good points but she’d forgotten about one person who Jasper missed her like crazy, “What about Emmett?” He peered at her, still standing behind the chair though the bloodlust had all but vanished. 

Bella whipped away a tear, shaking her head again. “I can’t see him without seeing all of them and I don’t want them to know what Edward really did. They don’t deserve that.” She looked away. “We should just finish our years at Cornell separately. How hard could it be to keep my presence a secret from them?”

Jasper recalled thinking a very similar thing that prior week. He didn’t like it but he tried to appease her wishes, instead questioning this unknown future where the rest of the Cullens thought he hadn’t had any contact with her. “Separately?” He tried for soothing tones, to be placating. Yet he wanted anything but to placate these wants. “Would you like me to pretend we never met Isabella?”

She inhaled sharply.

_ Fuck _ . He’d said the wrong thing. He tried again, “You don’t want the family to know you are here. I get that but why should we have to keep our distance? We both know the truth, that Edward lied his way into upheaving everyone’s lives.” Jasper thought about how little he knew Isabella Swan. How little he had been allowed near her back in Forks. Had they ever had a conversation this long? He couldn’t recall one. 

Edward had lied to Bella and Jasper felt the effect that had on her, an emotional pit lingering on the edges of her emotions. He sighed, Edward wasn’t here now and if they were lucky would stay away for a while. Now, Bella and her emotional fall out were here. Edward had successfully left behind a family left at the edges of ruin. Jasper felt that it would only be right for him to help clean up the mess, he helped cause it after all. 

Jasper continued, on a roll and thoroughly convinced he’d come up with his best idea in years, “What if, instead, we got to know each other?” He felt her skepticism rise. “We never had the chance to talk in Forks and there’s nothing stopping us not if you’d like it.” He smiled, trying to convince her with his charm instead of manipulating her emotions. “You already proved in class that you’ve got a good perspective and I think we could find much to talk about.”

Once more, he could see her question coming before she voiced it. “ I can hide our time together from my family. It won’t be too hard without Edward around and when you are ready, if you are ever, I can bring you by to see them.” He gave her an imploring look, “I know they would  _ all _ love to see you.”

When Bella started warring with herself over what he proposed, he returned back to the chair and gently pried her arm away from her chest so that he could take her hand once more. 

Deciding that it wasn’t considered manipulating her emotions if he was just sharing his own, he let his remorse and a twinge of anger flow out of him. Jasper had grown up in a time where “I’m sorry” didn’t exist and apologies had only begun to become mainstream. He was used to showing people he cared about them with action. Sharing his emotions was as personal as it got, but it wouldn’t end there. Jasper was determined to pick up where Bella’s friend left off. He vowed to himself, and to her in secret, that Isabella Swan would never have to face treachery like that again. 

With a small smile on her lips Bella whispered, “Okay.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one week left until all of my craziness is over! I am so looking forward to being able to more regularly post chapters!


	6. Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper keeps Bella a secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay folks! I am a serial reader and once I get my hands on a new series I ready the whole thing and I got myself started on two different series. I am going to try and get back to an updating schedule of every other week, at least until the end of the summer.  
> You get to hear from Bella a bit this chapter! You won't hear from her a lot but I think her perspective is important to include in some situations.

Jasper gave a small smile back when she agreed. There was hope that he’d eventually be able to convince her to see the family. He was so sure that everyone would be much happier that way. He used to worry about drawing the attention of the Volturi. Hell, he should be worrying about how Edward would react when he inevitably showed up, but he didn’t care. Not really. The human had captured so many of his family’s hearts that bringing her back into their world, now that he knew it hadn’t been her choice to leave, felt like the right answer. Even if Rose wouldn’t admit it, Jasper had felt the times where she had shown fondness for the girl. Rose had never hated Isabella Swan, no, all Rose had wanted was to keep her out of harm's way. That harm had included Edward. Jasper wasn’t sure how she’d feel to know she had been right to do so. 

Bella looked up at the clock in the room then, “I need to go soon. I-I really didn’t expect to see you,” she looked quickly back to him, her heart rate picking up. ”I have work in 45 minutes and need to catch the bus.” She let out a breath filled with nervous energy before standing and shouldering her bag, her resolve solidifying.

Jasper stood with her, curious as to how she would want to end this encounter. It brought them closer than Jasper really felt comfortable with but his burn was under control. Without Edward, Jasper really didn’t think he was a threat to this girl, not like he had been. 

When Isabella spoke next, she sounded much more like the girl Jasper had heard in the lecture, “What days are you usually on campus?” She inquired, peered up at him. She only came to his chin but she was nowhere near as tiny as his Alice had been. 

Jasper wouldn’t let himself dwell on that thought too much. “I have classes on Mondays, Wednesdays, and every other Friday.” He hesitated for a second before adding, “I come as much as I can but those are all weather dependent.” He was sure the smile he had tried to give came off more as a grimace. He had enrolled in classes this semester without the all-seeing eyes of his former partner, meaning he wouldn’t always know when the sun would shine and when it would not. 2-3 times a week seemed like good odds but he decided it would be safer to forge some medical documents so he would have more leeway with classes. He was currently diagnosed with episodic migraines, feigning intense sunlight as one of his triggers. Thankfully he’d only had to use that excuse once so far this semester. He wasn’t a fan of the pity he incurred from his female professors.

Bella took it with stride though, “Oh! I hadn’t even thought about that.” She trailed off but her curiosity lingered, “I’d really like to hear about how you ended up here, how you’ve been doing since--.” She let that thought fall away but quickly finished with, “Would Wednesday work for you? I have work that afternoon too but... oh I don’t know how the weather is looking.” She gnawed on her bottom lip, thinking thoughtfully for a moment. Jasper found it a little endearing how she interrupted each thought with a new one. He wondered if this is what it would sound like if he was able to read minds. 

Jasper had an idea, and leaned closer to her reaching for the phone he saw peeking out of the mesh pocket of her bag. He hadn’t yet had to hold his breath but he would admit that she smelled just as delectable as he remembered. He couldn’t allow himself to focus on that. He opened her phone, searching for the contacts list and added, “How about I give you my number. You can call me, or text me if that is something you do. It doesn’t have to be while you’re on campus. I lead a pretty busy existence outside of school hours.” He didn’t know how to be around her without a direct task to focus on but he smiled, hoping she would catch onto his joking tone. “Esme keeps me busy helping her restore houses but I should be able to find time.”   
  


There was a small wave of shock that washed through Bella when he handed her phone back to her and then a tidal wave of gratitude. Jasper had a feeling she was trying to show him that emotion in particular, but he was not sure why. More softly she added, “Thanks Jasper. That works, um, I’ll text you when I can I guess.” Bella let out another sigh and glanced back up at the clock, “You really don’t have to do this though, you don’t have to keep in contact with me. I’ll be fine.”

Jasper felt the worry creep in when she finished and tried to decide on what he wanted to say quickly. He did not want her to leave feeling small when he had seen how much she had grown in their absence, but he was also selfish enough to vie for the chance to make this up to her. He lifted his chin and gave a small smile, reaching to hold the door open for her. “I have no doubt you’ll be  _ fine _ .” He stressed the word, he didn’t like it. Like much of the English language today it no longer held much meaning. “We didn’t know each other that well but I can feel how much you’ve changed. I’d like the chance to make things up to you,” he could see her ready to protest, “and I’m curious as to who you’ve become.” He looked her in the eyes as she moved to leave. “So, humor me a little bit.”

~

Jasper needed a new change of clothes. 

He couldn’t believe he had told Isabella that he would keep their talk a secret. The Cullens that were in town already knew she was too, but he hadn’t told her that. Something had made him want to give her a sense of control over the situation, but he also hadn’t wanted to tell her that he had purposefully been avoiding her. Knowing that everyone was already aware of her presence would probably stress her out and might make her resist seeing the family if it didn’t seem like her own idea.

He knew he’d eventually have to tell her, especially if they continued to see each other as his intention had been. Something would slip up eventually, probably Emmett, and he didn’t want to deal with that fall out. He resolved himself to dealing with that later as he didn’t know all of the factors just yet.

Now, he needed a strategy for preventing the rest of the family from finding out he had spoken to her today. He knew he smelled like Isabella Swan. If they hadn’t been so close, in an enclosed room together, if he hadn’t held her hand, he wouldn’t have worried but he had and the scent that lingered on him would remove any chance of keeping this a secret.

Jasper mulled over his options, taking a human pace towards Rosalie's borrowed BMW. 

He could walk in and tell his family what happened, let Isabella think that the family didn’t know until she was ready to see them. Then he’d have to deal with Emmett trying to jump at every opportunity to see her for possibly months on end. He would also lose any trust Isabella may have in him. This wasn’t an option. He’d already decided that he was going to help her continue to progress.

He could ditch his clothes and run buck naked into the house.

Except he couldn’t, because if Rosalie and Emmett happened to be home, they’d give him shit and know something was up. 

He could purchase new clothes.

He knew this would also be suspicious. Whether straight from a factory or hung on clothing racks in a store for months, new clothes smelled like the people and machines they had been around and, without Alice, Rosalie and Emmett knew the likelihood of him going shopping was slim to none. 

If he couldn’t get rid of the scent entirely without drawing attention, perhaps he could cover it up. 

He had touched her, so he would need to physically mask her scent with something stronger. Maybe a gory hunt would do the trick? The blood should be strong enough to cover her scent and he would still be wearing the clothes he left in that morning. It wasn’t even unusual for him to go on a quick hunt during the week. Finding an animal big enough to make the hunt gory though, that he might have to work for.

Knowing his mission, he climbed into Rosalie’s tiny convertible and headed towards the Cullen’s current residence. He’d have to ditch the car quick but that was better than having to ride it back bloody. He’d probably lose both of his arms to Rosalie if he so much as scuffed up her gear shift.

~

Finding a bear hadn’t been as difficult as he’d expected. He severely missed the mountain lions of the West. The blood of a predator was significantly better than that of an herbivore and much more likely to make a mess. The Northeastern subspecies had become extinct before Rosalie was born though, so he knew he was out of luck.

Jasper smirked while he ran, feeling air brush through shredded parts of his button up. He may have done too good of a job making a mess of his clothes. 

He could sense the house was full of its current inhabitants before he even got close enough to smell them. Worry, fury, and amusement were abundant as he neared. 

Instead of passing through like he had planned to, he slowed and calmly made his way into the living room where Rose was seething and Emmett was staring at his wife with just barely hidden amusement. He sensed Esme and Carlisle’s worry from another floor of the house. 

Once Emmett saw Jasper however, he couldn’t contain himself. Laughing, Emmett asked, “Have some fun, Jaz?”

Jasper smirked but didn’t answer. Instead he searched for answers, “What’s going on?” His gaze lingered on Emmett. The vampire always seemed to be in a good mood and the family was better off because of it. He was sure Emmett knew when to be serious but it didn't seem like today was that day so he shifted his gaze to Rosalie.

Now standing, the blonde he had the… fortune of calling his twin crossed her arms.

Under her gaze and fury, Jasper began to think they knew he’d talked to Isabella. When she spoke however, it was clear that her anger wasn’t targeted at him. “Edward called.”

Jasper was shocked. Edward hadn’t been in touch with them since he left. Of course now, knowing what he did, Jasper preferred it that way but the rest of the family didn’t know what he did and Jasper couldn’t tell them. He kept his face cool and reserved, only arching a brow, hoping Rosalie would elaborate.

“He didn’t call to say he was coming home in case you were wondering.” She pursed her lips. Her words seethed with anger, “He didn’t even ask how anyone was doing. He didn’t care enough to talk to Carlisle or Esme.” Emmett grabbed her waist from his spot on the couch but she didn’t relax back into him. She stayed frozen on the spot. “No. He was looking for Alice because she hasn’t called him since June. Apparently he has been in frequent contact with  _ her _ . When I told him we hadn’t heard from her either he  _ told _ me to get in touch with her and send her his way.  _ That grifter _ .”

Emmett tried to intervene, using a soothing voice, “Rosie,” but she didn’t let him get too far.

Rosalie snapped her head towards him, “No Emmett! He’s demanding things from us without giving anything in return. He has no right, not after messing things up for us and then leaving. They both said they wouldn’t be gone forever but they aren’t acting like they are going to come back anytime soon either. You’ve seen how everyone’s been acting.” Rosalie’s head turned back towards Jasper. “You’ve certainly felt how this is affecting everyone. When was the last time you heard from her?”

Rosalie didn’t know the half of it. If she was mad at Edward for this, she’d be livid at the way he’d left Isabella Swan. The bitterness from the topic change made the blood in his stomach roll. “You know I haven’t heard from her since June. I asked her to update someone else.” She’d called him every month like clockwork since January, only giving him 3 months to heal. By June, he’d grown enough of his balls back to tell her he wasn’t playing messenger anymore. He also knew that she hadn’t bothered to update anyone after that.

Rosalie finally relaxed back into Emmett. “Jasper I--” She cut herself off and shook her head. “She never once mentioned being in contact with Edward?” When Jasper shook his head in reply she continued. “Well I’m not going to call her and I’m not going to ask you to call so I guess we’ll see if she reaches out.” 

Jasper nodded in agreement before finally making his way up the stairs. Just past Carlisle’s office, where he knew Carlisle and Esme both were, he felt his phone buzz once in his pocket. 

He waited to read it until he reached his own room. There wasn’t much privacy in the existence of a vampire but at least the closed door signaled to the rest of them that he wasn’t up for talking at the moment. 

Flicking open the phone, he saw he had a text message from an unknown number. A strange thrill shot through him. He opened it, knowing it had to be Isabella. 

_ Thank you. _

He stared in confusion at his phone. It had to be Isabella. There was no one else it could be and it would be too much of a coincidence for it to be a wrong number. Why was she thanking him? He had felt her gratitude earlier but what brought this on now?

She had dragged him to the room to talk. She had been the one to engage him. All he had done was accepted that the conversation was then inevitable. 

Curious, he responded.

~

Bella didn’t know what compelled her to push send while waiting for her bus after work, or to leave her message at just  _ that _ .

_ Thank you. _

Part of her wanted to check and see if the number was even real or if the message would come back “did not send.” The other part of her knew she sent it because she really was that grateful.

After Edward had left she had done a lot of dumb things and made a lot of, what she knew now, were stupid decisions in order to just hear his voice, like a junkie. The nightmares had been realistic enough that she almost believed that they were real. The one thing that kept her from believing was that pit in her chest that told her he was gone. That she hadn’t been good enough. So when Jasper gave her his number, she finally had something physical to prove to herself that that afternoon had happened. Maybe she was thanking him for that. For the proof that she wasn’t crazy.

But boy did she feel crazy. She still couldn’t believe she had grabbed  _ Jasper,  _ of all vampires, by the arm and tried to drag him  _ anywhere _ . He was the most stoic of the Cullen bunch but she knew he’d lead a troubled past and had difficulty being around humans. She didn’t think he would have hurt her but he could have so easily resisted. He could have told her to get lost. He could have just left. But he didn’t. He hadn’t left like Edward. He may have said some things that made her panic for a moment thinking he  _ was _ going to leave but he hadn’t. In fact, he told her he’d like to see her again. This day had been so weird.

While she had her phone out, she also made a point to check in with Jake. While she hadn’t been privy to pack business with being a pale-face, that hadn’t stopped Jake from being her best friend. He’d been her whole support system back in Washington and she missed him.

_ Hey dork, just checking in. Have Paul and Leah ripped each other’s faces off yet? _

While she wasn’t privy to official business, Bella had been around enough and Jake had gone on enough rants to know tons of personal business about the pack. They were like a dysfunctional family in a really weird way.

Last she’d heard, Paul had come close to biting Leah’s nose off. He wasn’t adjusting well to having a female in the pack. It had been a rough couple of months when Bella had been around to witness it. Leah had changed in a panic while her father had a heart attack. Her brother Seth freaked out and changed right along with her. Bella could understand where Paul was coming from even though his hot-headedness made him act out in ways she didn’t agree with. Leah wasn’t easy to get along with, Bella had been on the brunt of a few verbal attacks herself.

She was about to send a follow up text asking if Charlie had been hanging around a lot but was interrupted by an incoming text. 

_ You’re welcome? _

She let a sigh fall from her lips. The number was real and Jasper could see her texts. She was filled with equal amounts of anticipation and dread. She didn’t want to tell Jasper why she had thanked him even though that question mark denoted that he was curious. She gnawed on her lip in contemplation. No, she thought, she would just let him think about it. Though, she was sure he’d ask next time they talked.

On that note, Bella switched back to texting Jake. She’d figure out a time and a place to talk to Jasper tomorrow. Today had been exhausting and Bella knew that most anything happening from here on out would need her attention and energy. So, she told herself, she just needed the night to recharge.


	7. Unwise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is where you will see a bigger difference between Bella’s retellings and what happened in Meyer’s books. I slowed the timeline from the books and twisted them to better fit Bella ending up at college. There are several changes you must accept for the rest of this story to work. Bella was not privy to all pack business. Canonically, Laurent was sent ahead to see if Bella was alive/if she was being protected and Victoria changed Riley Beirs because she felt vulnerable, which would make it reasonable that, in this version, Laurent having not returned would put Victoria on edge more and (knowing vampires have a warped sense of time) put a pause on her plans. In this story, because she waits and doesn’t begin building her army until summertime, there was no fresh trial for the wolves to chase and Jacob was around to take Bella cliff diving, leaving no Jacobless gap for Alice to see Bella jump off a cliff and no reason for her to return to Forks.

Despite Jasper having class and being on campus on Wednesday, Isabella didn’t reach out to him again until that night. He assumed she texted him as she got out of work. 

_Isabella_

_I know you said you don’t have classes on Thursdays but I don’t have to work tomorrow and it’s supposed to be overcast. Want to meet?_

Jasper had promised he would help Esme with some of the larger house repairs tomorrow. Esme could finish the whole house in a week on her own but she cherished the time she spent restoring houses. He knew she asked him to help for his company. However, he helped her out as many days in the week as he could and knew she wouldn’t question him if he told her he could only help for half the day.

Satisfied with the compromise he replied.

_Jasper_

_I am helping Esme out with a house in the afternoon. Are you free to meet in the morning?_

~

He’d asked her to meet him out on the slope. On nicer days, he’d passed many students sitting on the hill everyone called “the slope.” The day might be a little chilly for it to be busy but it would keep the two of them outside and wouldn’t draw much attention to the pair. At first, she’d requested the library but Jasper had made a good point that there would be better airflow outside. As manageable as it had been to have that initial conversation, he could vividly remember the overwhelming scent of her blood on her 18th birthday and didn’t want to push his luck. 

Isabella was already sitting in the middle of the grassy hill when he arrived. She had her backpack propped up next to her and a pile of papers pinned under it. She wrote furiously in a notebook as he approached. Irritation rolled off her in waves.

“G’mornin,” he said, just loud enough for her human ears to pick up. To her credit, she didn’t jump but her pen did skid across her paper.

“Shit.” She muttered as she looked up. Her face echoed her mood entirely. Small frown in place, he knew she wasn’t excited about this meeting. He wondered why she even asked to meet. Her eyebrows furrowed as he stared down at her before she shook her head. “Sorry, I dropped my coffee on the way here. My luck has just gotten worse from there,” she muttered and scowled in the direction of her bag.

Jasper realized with a shock of relief that her feelings had nothing to do with him at all. She was simply grouchy. Amused and with something to talk about, he lowered himself to the ground. “I take it you are one of those humans that claims they would cease to function without a morning dose of caffeine?” 

As the chill of the morning faded, so did Isabella’s grouchiness. Jasper spent the majority of the time watching her huff over her notebook and asking her small questions.

He tried not to ask any direct questions related to Edward or his family. It was the simplest questions that seemed to make her open up. He found out she much preferred to live with Charlie over her mother, who he remembered was named Renee. This was less to do with who she liked and more to do with her acceptance that she shouldn’t have to do the parenting. On top of that, Charlie was also much more subdued and was perfectly okay with not spending every moment together actively doing something but when she needed him he was there for her.

When he’d asked about her depth of knowledge about Jane Austen, she revealed that Emily Bronte had been her favorite author all throughout high school but she’d read nearly all of Jane Austen’s work as well. Both authors had been popular picks for her English classes in high school.

Eventually, after a short rant about her 300 level lit class, she fell quiet. She’d been staring at her notebook for some time, pen unmoving. Jasper had been contemplating what she had said about recklessness in their last conversation and was about to ask her what she had meant when she finally asked him a question. “Why did you let me pull you to the study lounge? You so easily could have gotten away, avoided me.”

Jasper knew Isabella had not been the most confident human when they had left Forks but he could feel the way her bravery vied for control. Why were there insecurities creeping out now? “I knew a conversation was inevitable and I thought I owed you a chance to give me a piece of your mind.” When he glanced over, she was smiling a small smile.

When she next spoke, it was only loud enough for his vampire ears. “I wish I’d had the balls to yell at you but… I don’t know Jasper. It seems weird that you’re really here, that you aren’t a figment of my imagination. I was in shock, frankly, I still am.” She stared out towards the dorms and the downtown area the slope overlooked. 

If she was ready to talk seriously, he was going to ask about her time without them. He had to. The emotions that had previously ripped him apart in that study room ran rampant in his memory. “Isabella--”

She cut him off at her normal volume. “Call me Bella, please Jasper.” 

When he determined the smile wasn’t going to leave her face he proceeded, cautiously. “Bella,” he amended. “Can you tell me about your time in Forks after we left? I’d like to understand what you went through.”

She sighed and gnawed on her lip, Jasper could feel the turmoil pulsing wherever her thoughts had gone. He was about to tell her it was alright to tell him no, that he could wait, when she finally turned toward him, lips pressed together. Voice tight, her shoulders bowed forward, “For the first few months, after that night in the forest, I was practically comatose.” Her eyes stared past Jasper as shame filled her. “I don’t remember what school was like then but by the time I was coherent, nobody was talking to me. Anytime I spoke people looked at me like I had risen from the dead. It was Charlie threatening to send me back to Renee that finally did it. It had to have been awful for him,” her voice wavered. “He hardly knew how to raise a functioning daughter let alone one that shut out everyone around her. Even if he had done the reasonable thing and had me see a therapist, I know I wouldn’t have talked. I hardly believed you guys had existed and there was no way I could relay a vamp-less version of the story to anyone without sounding batshit crazy.”

She paused as a group of students passed on the sidewalk, then lowered her voice. “Then, I got a bit more lively than I think my father intended.” She cleared her throat and Jasper could feel a thin layer of dishonesty settling over her welling embarrassment. “I realized that when I was in danger I could better remember E-Edward. I found these dirtbikes on the side of the road and remembered that Jake, the boy who had fixed up and given me my truck, could probably fix them too.”

Jasper was concerned for several reasons, and none of them had to do with the dirtbikes.

“So I started hanging out with him. I convinced him to teach me how to ride the bikes and to go in search of a meadow Edward had taken me to, but he didn’t know why. He was just happy I was hanging around people again. Only, I had nothing left from the time you all were in Forks and I was desperate for something to prove I hadn’t imagined the whole thing. Jake was more than I could have asked for though. He was my own personal sun. He helped me _feel_ like I was alive again.” She began hesitating, nervousness and hesitation racking her body. “Jasper, what do you know about the Quileutes?” 

Jasper recalled what Carlisle had told him and Alice during their preparations to move to Forks. _This girl was a magnet for danger._ “Are you going to tell me you got yourself mixed up with wolves Bella?” he drawled, amusement was plain on his face. If she thought for one second he was trying to gatekeep her she would shut back down. 

She exhaled sharply. “So you know about the werewolves?” She was curious now.

Jasper smirked, “Not much but enough to know your _friendly_ pack of wolves are really shapeshifters. Actual werewolves are much less _humane_.” He let that information settle over Isabella for a couple of seconds before asking, “How did you find yourself around yet another set of supernatural beings?” He had a few guesses, the first being that she had specifically said a man from the reservation had been the one to find her in the woods.

Isabella eventually nodded, like she had finally come to an understanding with herself. “That’s kind of where my story picks up again. I just wanted to make sure the… shapeshifters were not going to be a surprise.” She glanced at Jasper before continuing, “So um, after a couple of weeks my friend Jake got sick and started avoiding me. I tried to do everything I could to get him to talk to me, including eventually going to his house and demanding it but-- I’m getting ahead of myself. I got mad because I was still obsessed with finding this meadow and we had finally narrowed down a location, so I went on my own. Out into the wood. Alone. Again. _Because it had been such a good idea the first time_.”

When Bella’s irritation and embarrassment spiked, Jasper knew better than to say anything. He just raised his eyebrows and waited for steamroller Bella to continue. 

“I was actually surprised that I made it. I had been able to get there on my own without breaking anything or injuring myself.” Isabella looked up at Jasper. “I just didn’t expect to see a vampire there.”

Jasper’s body tensed, turning towards the skyline, as he ran through a list of vampires who could have possibly been in the area. There were several that would not yet know the family had moved and even fewer that would have let her live.

“Laurent came back. He told me he was just _so_ hungry that he couldn’t help himself. I tried to reason with him. I thought he’d been in Alaska with the Denalis learning your diet. He said he’d been trying but that it would just be so easy...” Jasper grew more uneasy as Bella continued, “He got so close to me. I really thought I was going to die but the wolves showed up. I had no idea what they were at the time. There had been rumors around town about large bears attacking people and Charlie had his men out in the woods with rifles looking for these things. When I saw Laurent was afraid of them, I used the distraction to run. It wasn’t until later, after Jake made me guess what was going on with him,” Jasper didn’t miss her rolled eyes, “that I found out the wolves had saved me and killed him.” 

Jasper mulled over that for a moment. Why had Laurent come back to Forks? Had Victoria prompted him to? Jasper had heard about how close Laurent and Irina had been getting but hadn’t heard of his leaving the coven. Hearing that Bella had assumed he’d switched diets so easily made the next topic easier to broach, but none less uncomfortable. His voice was low but he made sure to speak loud enough, only for her to hear, “I am relieved that you had protectors while we were gone. I hadn’t properly assessed Laurent as a threat and for that, I owe you my most sincere apology. Edward’s not wrong when he calls our existence damned. Some of us lose what humanity we have and that makes it easier to feed on the living. Others are drawn to the power of feeding on human blood. It’s the only thing that really quenches the fire. Transitioning to feeding on animals was one of the hardest things I have done.” He felt her curiosity peak, as he continued, “Alice knew before we ever met that we would join the Cullens. She made me practice feeding on animals for two years before we finally joined them. It has helped me find some peace. I had felt the emotions of my victims for so long that having the option to feed on beings with such muted emotions gave me great relief.” He was unsure as to why she seemed so unphased by the topic. “Yet, human blood is the only thing that can control the burn, anything else just dulls it, and the less practiced of us continue to be drawn to it. Even despite our many reasons to not want to feed on humans.”

He reminded himself that he wanted to give Isabella as much honesty as he could, even if that meant exposing the kink in his armor further. She knew it was there, she’d witnessed his break on her birthday. “I am still trying to find the strength that the more willful of us have.” He looked at her then, “Esme and Rosalie have always been so dedicated to preserving human life. Even Emmett coasted through his adjustment to the diet. I spent centuries feeding on the innocents,” he didn’t find any satisfaction when she finally cringed, “and have had a harder time adjusting than most. That is part of my motivation for continuing this year without Rosalie and Emmett. After Alice left, I realized I had no real way to move about the world on my own. No feasible way to make money easily. This and the self-blame I had for the forced move of our family made me realize I needed to put more effort into adjusting. Carlisle and I decided continuing classes and pushing my comfort levels without someone there to back me up would be beneficial. I’m not saying this to scare you, just to make you aware. I am still working on my control, but the exposure to so many different humans has been helpful. I believe the choice to continue on here was the right one.”

Jasper observed Isabella as she deliberated. He was not quite sure why he kept giving her an out but as it were, he was still a threat to her and it felt unfair not to make that clear.

“You know,” she started, “I’ve always been told by my teachers that I am a _smart young lady_. They’ve never heard the decisions I’ve made when given a choice between danger and ignorance. I guess that goes to show that one can be intelligent without being wise.”

Jasper was curious now. There was no fear, some minor worry tangible, but overall she was content and radiating respect. He had used his ability with such ease when Edward was around. He’d chose to change the emotional climate of the room when needed while Edward deduced the reasoning behind emotions. If he wanted to know what she was thinking, he’d have to work for it. Smirking he asked, “What are you trying to say, Bella?”

She sent a small smile in his direction and spoke with surety, “I never really blamed you for what happened. I know it had a lot to do with the thirst of everyone else in the room but most of all Edward’s own bloodlust. I think it’s really… brave of you to try and overcome something that challenges you in such a direct way.”

The clouds were thinning out overhead, a dull light beginning to shine on Bella’s hair as Jasper continued to stare at her. He knew he’d have to leave quickly but couldn’t bring himself to part just yet. He was too busy soaking in the peace she offered him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My original goal of finishing this by the end of summer may have been a bit too ambitious. Either way, I promise not to abandon this! I'm finally starting to like writing this as much as I enjoy writing the other fic, so fingers crossed for another update this month!


	8. Purpose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone! Long time no see! I apologize for the delay but I have started a new job, began the process of buying a house, and life has a way of taking up time! Have no fear though, I am throwing myself back into writing as we speak (or you read?). I am excited to see what the future has in store for this fic as we have some new information to work with. For those of you who have read Midnight Sun, we now know that our dear Jasper is a great deal stronger than described in the original Twilight books! I am trying to work out how to have fun with that and stay more true to his character leading forward. Please let me know if you have suggestions :)

After a quick hunt, Jasper had changed into the spare clothes he now kept in his bag, tucking the ones with Bella’s scent into an airtight bag until he could launder them. As long as they stayed outside, it was easy to get rid of her scent and keep the secret. Jasper was hoping she’d be willing to meet with his family before the weather got too cold out. His scent masking techniques would have to get much more creative if he was in close quarters with her for too long.

Jasper slowed his motorcycle and peered through his dark helmet as he neared the old colonial style house. It stood out amongst its neighbors due to its size and wear. Esme was determined to return it to its former glory and he was sure it would be stunning when she finished.

Pulling around back of the house, Jasper listened for Esme inside. From the sounds of the drill and the dusty smell, he ascertained that she was working on replacing the ceiling in the dining room. Pipes had leaked from an upstairs bathroom and caused severe warping in the ceiling along with some wood rot on several structural beams. He and Carlisle had helped support the room while the beams were replaced and reinforced over the weekend. 

With more enthusiasm than usual, Jasper checked his surroundings for onlookers before grabbing several sheets of drywall and making his way into the old home through the back door. What greeted him was a battlefield of ripped out moldings, spackle, and clear plastic sheets hanging in every archway. When he brushed through the one on the right, leading to the dining room, Esme paused what she was doing to give him a smile.

"It's about time you showed up," she chided him jokingly.

He grinned back at her. "M’apologies, Esme. I had a prior obligation I needed to attend to." He set the new stack of drywall at her feet with a large thump. "I did tell you I would be late today."

“Well now that you’re here, we can get started on the fun stuff.” She pat his shoulder in passing, exuding nothing but love and joviality. Her love for her family could never be questioned. When he and Alice first joined the coven, Esme had gone out of her way to make them both feel comfortable, which meant a lot to Jasper as he could feel how uneasy the scars he bore made the others.

Esme motioned for him to hold a piece of drywall while she secured it, not giving up on her task of restoration for long. The task would be simple enough for her to do on her own. They had found, however, that tag-teaming projects involving large materials lead to less destruction of said materials and less waste. At least, that was the case as long as only one of Esme's sons was helping. Several early projects had quickly racked up twice the budget allotted due to fighting amongst the materials. Esme had since learned her lesson and now only asks for one child’s help at a time.

They quickly settled into an easy rhythm and spent their time working quietly. First, installing the drywall. Then, spackling the holes caused by screws and filling in the gaps between sheets. The air radiated contentedness as both of them worked at a slow pace, for vampires.

Jasper found himself thinking about Isabella while he worked. It had been quite a pleasant experience to sit with her on the slope, more so than he would have ever imagined. She had so forthright accepted him and his journey. The mere fact that she’d never blamed him for what happened on her birthday stunned him. While he knew he’d been the catalyst or at least the excuse for the family leaving, he also felt great relief when she had acquitted him. Isabella had even expressed respect at the way he’d chosen to atone. 

She really was a remarkable young lady. If one looked past her draw to danger and supernatural entities, then she could be viewed as very intelligent and wise for her age.

Jasper nearly chuckled, thinking about her own comment, and found himself longing for their next meeting. Before he left to help Esme, just as the sun was about to peek out from behind the clouds, Isabella had agreed to meet him after their classes on Monday. The forecast was expected to be chilly and overcast. He worried briefly about Isabella’s ability to stay warm when outside for such an extended period of time and settled on bringing an extra thick jacket in case the one she wore was insufficient. 

He imagined that she would initially refuse any offer of aid. She seemed very proud and from what Jasper had experienced from her days with Edward, she was fairly insecure about her humanity and the weaknesses that accompanied it. Jasper wondered how long she would hold out before accepting the offer of the jacket. Not only was she stubborn but she was a woman of modern times. He doubted she would courteously take it. He held back a laugh, thinking of the argument he’d surely have to put up just to get her to consider accepting the jacket.

Esme stopped spackling to laugh. Jasper paused his own project to take stock. He hadn’t been aware of just how potent the emotions he’d been emitting were. Happiness and amusement hung heavy in the air around them. He was used to keeping a tight grip on his powers, one wrong move and he could knock his family on their ass. Now, however, he felt full in a way that was hard to suppress.

Esme moved closer and wrapped an arm around him, lovingly giving Jasper a side hug. Leaning her cheek against his shoulder she inquired, “You’ve been quite chipper lately, Jasper.” He practically heard the question she left unasked, _what’s changed?_ Esme had never been one to pry but even now her emotions rang with curiosity and love. Esme took her role as mother very seriously and Jasper usually went out of his way to make sure she knew just how much each of her children appreciated it. 

He pondered telling her the truth about his interactions with the Swan girl. They’d agreed to let Isabella live her own life. However, he was also aware of how much the girl meant to his family, Esme in particular. Esme still viewed her as one of her children and all she wanted was for her children to be happy. He knew as soon as Esme was aware of his interactions with Isabella, she would ask to see her. He did not think Isabella would be ready for that. Between her readiness and his promise to her to keep this between them, letting Esme in on the secret had the potential to ruin his plan of reuniting her with the family.

He could not be too quick to act, he determined, he would not tell Esme, not until he was positive that Isabella would be open to seeing the family again. Beyond this, he could not let Esme get her hopes up only to be let down if Jasper failed. Instead, he smiled making sure to include a pulse of certainty in his emotions and said, “I am starting to see the benefit in attending the university this year. Carlisle was right, it has been good for me.”

As predicted, Esme’s heart swelled at that statement and she held him tighter against her side. “Oh Jasper, I am so happy for you. You have the strength to overcome anything. I know you do.” She looked at him with such motherly love he almost felt guilty for smudging the truth. “You deserve so much happiness and I know that this journey will help lead you to it.” With a peck on the cheek, she left him once again to his own project.

Smiling, Jasper returned to his work spackling the final seam. His stand-in mother may have well been his real one. She felt so genuinely and truly believed he could overcome anything. She believed he would find happiness. 

The longer Jasper thought it the more it made sense. He could overcome his bloodlust, of this he was positive. However, that could not be his purpose forever. Eventually, if things went right, it would become second hand and he would need a new purpose. He estimated at maximum it might take him 12 more years to master his thirst the way Emmett had. Not perfect but not uncomfortable and able to fully function when immersed in human situations. He needed something that would outlast his adjustment. What would make him happy?

Dodging any thoughts of Alice, though a part of his brain had already begun to analyze the probability of her return or the chance of finding a mate, he pondered this. In his vampiric existence, he had lived goal by goal. Survive. Win territory. Survive. Escape. Survive. Make potential mate happy by learning to feed on animals. Keep the family safe. How much of that had been for his own happiness? 

He thought of what made his family happy. With Rosalie and Emmett, it was each other. With Carlisle and Esme, it was still each other. He’d always thought he made Alice happy. With Edward, it was hard to pick out what specifically made him happy. If he ruled out mating, as that often occurred by chance, he was left with one common source of happiness. Family and connection. There was one person his family was all connected to. Someone, no matter how much some of them would try to deny it, they all cared about. 

Bella.

Jasper was the only one who had maintained a distance. Rosalie had been cold but that had been to deflect Bella’s curiosity to their lifestyle and prevent her from making a choice Rosalie would not have made for herself. Emmett had adored his little sister. Carlisle and Esme had felt as though they’d gained a daughter. Alice had practically smothered her new best friend in affection. 

Was there a way, possibly, that Isabella Swan could lead to his own happiness? Even if only inadvertently? Her happiness was contagious. He’d felt it’s effects long after he’d left her on the slope.

Perhaps that was what he could focus on. If he made his purpose making sure Isabella was happy, wouldn’t his life also be the better for it? When Isabella felt content, she radiated with it. He could only imagine what true happiness would feel like coming from her. He longed for a taste of the emotion. His brain began cataloging every reaction she’s had over the years, trying to pinpoint anything in particular that had made her happy. Besides what she had told him about her family and about her friends back in La Push, Jasper could not recall a time he had felt her filled with joy or even pure satisfaction. Every positive emotion he had felt from her, prior to Cornell, had been clouded by one emotion or another. Most often, insecurity. 

Jasper had barely seen a glimpse of that insecurity since she had corralled him in the study room. He drew only one conclusion. Edward had to be the determining factor. 

This new knowledge sipped away at his prior jovial mood. What had that son-of-a-bitch done prior to leaving her in the woods? He thought back to every interaction, every conversation he’d heard from across the house. Edward had played on her insecurities, reinforced her beliefs that as a human she was somehow inferior. All while convincing her that it was for her own good. He’d played her, just like he’d played the rest of them.

Jasper was surprised Isabella had chosen to speak to him. She could not have drawn the same conclusions. If she had, he wouldn’t blame her for distrusting vampires as a whole. 

Jasper seethed silently, sure to keep a rein on his emotions this time. After a few moments, he was able to backtrack to his primary train of thought. 

He could help Isabella in more ways than one. She had already proved that she was still in danger without them. They had already had too much influence on her life to take any of it back, he feared she would attract his kind for the rest of her life. Staying connected to the family could provide her with safety that she would not have otherwise. The family was well connected and more than comfortable. They could provide her with opportunities she would not have otherwise. 

As altruistic as he wished he was, he knew it was a selfish decision. In choosing this, he would improve his family’s happiness by providing them with a connection to their favorite human. There was also the possibility that he could make up for the prior havoc he wreaked on Isabella Swan’s life. He would be happy to make up for his misdeeds. Time spent around her is something he could use to help himself adjust. It wouldn’t be just any human he would have to force himself to be around. It would be Isabella, Bella. So far, he found it enjoyable to be in her company. What was another century? 

Jasper paused, remembering just how fragile humans are.

For his family to be their happiest Isabella would have to live a full and long life. It wasn’t just a matter of happiness. He would have to keep her safe and healthy. Even with advances in medicine and the best doctor, Isabella could succumb to a variety of human illnesses. He did not even want to think about how accident prone she was.

The years in Jasper’s head ticked down as he realized a century with their favorite human would be a stretch. Isabella would not likely live to see her 119th birthday. He pictured her, wrinkled with old age, Esme sitting beside her. She would be lucky to reach her 100th birthday. An uneasy pit settled in Jasper’s chest as he came to terms with not knowing just how long his family had left with Isabella, how long he had left with her. 

Is this why Edward had always felt so anxious? Jasper felt like he was beginning to understand the constant melancholy that had eliminated from his brother’s room. It in no way explained Isabella or the family’s abandonment but he could see how the finality may have made a weaker man cower.

Jasper needed a course of action, and so he planned. As Esme’s focus shifted to sanding the dried spackle Jasper vacuumed with precision, his mind analyzing the future as though he were the one with psychic abilities. 

Reviewing his plans for the future and dumping the final bag of dust into the trash, Jasper knew it was settled. He would spend what he hoped would be at least the next 80 years helping Isabella fulfill her life. Under no circumstances would he let her health slip, he trusted Carlisle would not either. He would do everything in his power to ensure her safety, from the supernatural and otherwise. He was confident he could accomplish both of these goals, as long as she let him. He only hoped he could help her find a sliver of the happiness he knew she deserved.

  
  



	9. Progress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Making good use of winter break! Updates will not continue to be this frequent but I am going to try writing more in the new year.

It was easy for Jasper to remember his existence before Isabella Swan. Vampires had infallible memories, after all. Surviving had always been the goal. It continued to be the goal, even when he first met her, but now? Now, he was watching Bella try to eat a cookie without getting crumbs down her shirt and he wondered what it would be like to exist once she was gone. 

Several meetings had passed since he’d first decided his new purpose. Several sessions of slowly realizing it wasn’t hard to make Isabella Swan happy. She had been happy to explain that what they were doing was called “hanging out” and that meetings were typically for business. She’d been playfully stubborn when he offered her the extra thick coat he had tucked away, but eventually admitted she was grateful. She’d been proud when he’d expressed how impressed he’d been with her during the joint lecture. She’d been ecstatic when he told her he’d stolen one of Esme’s fundraiser cookies for her. 

Bella laughed, brushing crumbs off herself and the blanket beneath them, “I don’t know what kind of science Esme studied to make this cookie but it is the best tasting, crumbliest, no-bake cookie I’ve ever had.” Regret flashed through her eyes before she returned to her sugar fueled bliss. 

Jasper could tell she missed the family more and more as they “hung out.” His goal of reuniting her with the family by the end of December just might be realized. So, he tried his luck, “I can tell her that if you’d like?” 

She swallowed glancing at him, “U-um,” her heart raced, hope and dread filling her. 

Still too soon, then.

Jasper was quick to move closer, laying a gentle hand on her warm knee. He spoke softly pushing calm towards her, “There’s no pressure I-Bella.” Jasper caught himself, she chastised him every time he called her Isabella. “I’m sure Esme would love to hear how good her cookies are but you can tell her yourself when you are ready.” 

Bella turned her head away, looking out towards downtown as she always did when she was deep in thought. Curiosity rose in her and Jasper could feel that she was itching to ask a question, but she held back, eventually settling into a weary calm.

This had not been Jasper’s goal. Yet, it seemed just as easy to make Isabella Swan uncomfortable as it was to make her happy. He knew he had to think of something to turn this around. Their time spent together had slowly grown to last hours at a time, even as the weather grew colder. Soon, Bella would need more than just the thick jacket he made sure to bring on their outings. 

Strategically, Jasper did not have many options. When limited to the outdoors with a human who seemed to grow colder by the second, he feared his only options were to call their day short or force her out from underneath the jacket she is currently using as a blanket, into the cold that she seems to despise.

Jasper’s only other option seemed to be to make their way indoors. Not willing to take too many risks and unable to forget her birthday, Jasper had used an overabundance of caution and suggested they keep their hangouts outside. Truthfully, despite her uniquely compelling scent, the study room had not been uncomfortable. Having adjusted to being around her again, he knew he needed to continue to acclimate himself to her scent. They would not be able to avoid the indoors forever.

Jasper watched Isabella fidget with his jacket, the one she had begun using as a blanket, and knew she would discover a reason to leave if they sat any longer. He needed a way to recover their day. Weighing his options, he settled on something a bit riskier than sitting on a hill in the open air but something that should be no harder than his typical days on campus.

He spoke low, as to not startle her, “The Uris library, have you ever been inside?” 

Isabella shivered while her heart started a familiar race. Jasper dove into her emotions, trying not to listen to her heartbeat too closely, to not think about the blood pumping through her veins.

Curiosity, she’s always curious. Longing, she must have heard of it or seen the library before, it was a remarkable sight. Embarrassment, Jasper thought she must understand he can hear her heartbeat.

She took a moment to clear her throat before responding, “I have, it’s magnificent.”

Jasper was disappointed but he pressed on, sure she’d find enjoyment in the plan nevertheless. “This time of year the school hosts tours of different parts of campus. Not all of them are ghost tours,” Jasper adds, seeing Bella’s look. “There is a historical tour scheduled for the library at 3 o’clock.” Jasper was curious, he’d never taken much interest in the history of the campus. It hadn’t been important before, not when he’d been so distracted by other things. But now, he was curious about the library some had described as “fantastical” and he knew Bella would be too. 

Bella chewed on her lip and wrapped her coat tighter around her, giving it some thought before hesitantly asking, “Are you sure you’ll be alright inside?”

Putting his needs before her own, Jasper didn’t know if he should be touched or if he should once again reevaluate her sense of self-preservation. 

Isabella’s phone dinged a shrill sound and worry flickered over her as she watched him wince. “Jasper?” She questioned him quietly.

A cautious smile in place, he replied, “It was just the phone, that sound is a bit grating on our ears but it’s nothing to worry over.” A little more serious he continued, “and you don’t need to worry about being inside with me. I have been taking the easy way out with you for weeks. I’ve been in lecture halls and closed rooms with you. We will be fine.” He didn’t feel the need to mention the rate at which he had been feeding as she was already inspecting his near golden eyes. 

She huffed a short sigh, exasperation seeping towards him, before ridding herself of her makeshift blanket. Once standing, she reassured him, “I trust you, I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

\--

The tour of the library proved to be more entertaining than Jasper had anticipated. Not only did he get to learn about a university that was founded at the tail end of the Civil War and hosts a collection of official documents, but he got to observe Bella’s fascination with the books and architecture that surrounded her. 

He was damn near glowing with pride, his plan had worked out better than he hoped. He neatly tucked away every smile Bella had flashed him during the tour while one in particular stayed at the forefront of his mind. 

The most well-known section of the Uris library, and the part everyone came to see, was the library of Cornell’s first president, A.D. White. Standing next to the line of wooden study carrels, wedged between 3 stories of wrought-iron stacks, Isabella’s excitement had been contagious. 

“I never come here to work because I’m afraid I would get too distracted! It reminds me of Hogwarts or some library from a fairytale,” she confessed. “There are supposed to be libraries like this but bigger all over Europe, in Prague, Dublin, Budapest. I’d love to see them.” 

He would love to take her. Jasper had not explored these areas himself but was sure Carlise would have plentiful information on the topic. He tucked the idea away for later when Isabella wasn’t bogged down with midterms and classes.

The tour had moved on and when they reached the second story Bella had stared, fascinated, out over the railings at thousands of books housed by an intricate iron lattice. Leaving the tour for a moment, she’d walked out onto one of the several metal walkways that connected the towering stacks. When she turned to grin back at him, hair tumbling over hair shoulder, she’d been as stunning as any heroine in a fairy tale would have been.

Nothing could ruin the success he had felt about this day, not even the one close call, if he could call it that, during the tour.

During the tour guide’s speech on the various collections found in the library, Bella had stopped to warm herself in front of a vent and the warm air had carried a thick cloud of her scent in his direction. It had been so potent he needed to stop breathing. As soon as she’d noticed his darkening eyes and the stiff way he stood, shame had filled her. An apologetic “Jaz,” broke from her lips and it was all he needed to bring himself back to focus. He chastised himself, knowing he was stronger than this.

Wanting to lighten the mood and refusing to dwell on the minor setback, he teased, “You call me Jaz now?”

He’d only made things harder on himself.

Her blush had been delectable and the air was once again thickened by her honey tinged scent. This time, there was no surprise and no flood of venom into his mouth. As long as he stayed vigilant, he knew being inside with her would not be an impossible task. 

Later, they descended the steps to the first floor. Bella had been overjoyed with the tour and now, she asserted, it was time for her to find some real food. This was something he’d questioned her on, wasn’t anything meant to be eaten “real food?” Turns out she had meant she wanted dinner, whereas the cookie she’d eaten earlier had been a snack.

Jasper was about to ask her if she would like some accompaniment to the dining hall but was surprised to hear the soft vrrrrrring interrupt him as Bella powered on her phone. He noticed she received several texts from Jacob this afternoon. The frequency of texts however was not what gave him pause. Isabella had turned off her phone when entering the library. She must have turned it to silent soon after his reaction to her ringtone. He recalled her fiddling with her phone as he’d folded the blanket they brought to sit on. He was disconcerted by the thought that he could have missed something like that. He was supposed to be on guard now more than ever. What else could he have missed?

He waited for her to finish her text but before he could ask his question Isabella spoke, “Sorry Jasper, Jake needs me to call him. It sounds kind of urgent.” She gnawed her lip, looking up at him. Worry and remorse flooded her but Jasper found relief in the possibility that she wanted to continue their day as much as he. 

Understanding, Jasper offered, “You should probably call Jacob then and check on him. Give your father a call too if you have time, you haven’t spoken about him in a while.”

Waves for gratefulness moved in waves off Bella, “You’re right,” To herself, she mumbled, “I should probably let him know I’m flying to see Renee over Thanksgiving too…” Before turning back to him hesitating, uncertainty clouding her emotions. “Thank you, Jasper. Do you want to hang out again after class Monday? I’ll be out early if my midterm goes well.” There was a sliver of hope that gave him the impression she was afraid he would say no. He worried that the same insecurity she had felt with Edward would return if things continued to progress day by day. He needed to ensure she viewed him differently than his brother.

Jasper smirked. “I thought hanging out after class was a standing arrangement we had? What did you expect me to do? Go home and  _ read _ ?” He asked, chuckling. Bella had once commented that even though she wished she had more time in the day she would not know what she would do with her time if she never slept. Jasper had proceeded to tell her about the libraries of books he’d left around the country as the Cullens had moved over the years. Still, she’d had a point, more than one hobby was needed to keep a vampire occupied.

She smiled, finding it hard to chew at her lip with the playful way he spoke. “I’ll see you Monday then.” 

\--

_9:26 PM_

_ Isabella _

_ Call me when you get the chance. _


	10. Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, funny story! I was so absorbed in developing Jasper’s motive and emotions towards Bella that I COMPLETELY forgot this story wasn’t just from his point of view! Ha! So I decided it was probably best if Bella started off this chapter for us. Enjoy!

After sending the text, Bella was only able to make it to the other side of her tiny apartment before it started ringing. By the second ring, she’d picked up the phone and was breathing, “Hi, Jaz,” without a second thought. Why did she call him Jaz again? She’d told herself she would stop doing that. 

“Bella, what did you find out?” Jasper’s tense voice rang through the phone as Bella paced between her kitchenette and couch.

She sighed, returning to her couch, before slowly starting, “Charlie found out about the wolves this morning.” She paused but Jasper let her continue. “Seth, he’s the son of one of Charlie’s good friends that passed, changed in front of him. I guess the fright knocked Charlie right to the ground.” Bella tried not to let too much worry seep into her tone but the phone calls she’d endured the last few hours had left her weary and emotionally exhausted. “Charlie is okay,” she began again, unsure if Jasper would even care about the state of her father’s well being, “but Jacob spent most of the day trying to calm him down. I guess he phased in front of Charlie to prove Seth wasn’t some kind of monster. It sounded like Charlie was close to pulling his gun on him a couple of times.” Bella’s face ended up in her free hand. “Jake is like a son to him, Jasper! It sounded like Charlie chewed his dad Billy out too… I can’t believe this happened.” 

She wanted to curl up on the couch and forget the last few hours had ever happened. It broke Bella’s heart to think Charlie may never look at Jacob the same way again. She wondered how long it would take for Charlie to talk to Billy this time.

There was a caution in Jasper's voice when he spoke again, “It’s good to hear Charlie is unharmed but this is very important, Bella. Did the wolves expose us?” 

Jasper’s tone did nothing to put Bella at ease. “Jake assured me that  _ no one _ mentioned vampires but I know Charlie already suspected something was off about Phoenix,” she fretted. “I called Charlie after Jake let me go and he’s really freaked out. He said he accepted that the guys are considered guardians to the tribe but he’s super pissed that I would put myself in danger like that.”

Even in her childhood, Bella had never heard her father yell at her. He was always even-tempered, justified in whatever decision he made, and firm about consequences. Today though? He had been scared. That was the only justification she could find. Charlie had yelled at her for spending so much time with “men” who could seriously injury her, “like poor Emily,” he’d said.

As if reading her mind, Jasper inquired, “Are you afraid he’ll react poorly if he finds out you dated a vampire?”

Bella huffed incredulously, “Dated? Jasper, I’m afraid he’ll fly out here just to shoot you if he finds out I’m speaking to one of you. If he finds out you’re vampires…” she trailed off.

She didn’t know what he’d do but it couldn’t be good. Charlie had set up a great college fund for her when she was a baby. Between the money he had saved and the shifts she works manning the desk at the fitness center, she could barely afford the apartment. If Charlie found out she had kept this from him and was now speaking to one of the Cullens again, she was scared he’d pull her funds or pull her from school entirely.

Jasper’s tense voice rang through the phone again, “We won’t let that happen, Bella.” She knew Jasper was trying to sound reassuring but there was only so much either of them could do. Charlie was more likely to figure it out on his own, like she had.

Jasper continued, unaware of where her thoughts had led her, “It is very dangerous for Charlie if he finds out. If you think he really suspected something then you need to try your hardest to convince him otherwise.” Bella’s chest tightened, the knot being pulled over and over. “I know Edward told you about the Volturi on the first visit to our house.” The knot grew tighter. “If Charlie finds out, they are the biggest danger to him. Forget the dangers that sporadic vampires pose. The Volturi have ears all over the world. Charlie cannot afford to draw their attention.”

Bella felt tears that had been building for several hours, well in her eyes. She couldn’t let Charlie be put in danger like that. Yet, in the back of her mind, she knew she’d been putting him in danger this whole time. Drawing James away from Charlie had been one thing, but the danger had never really dissipated. The Volturi were the ruling class of the vampires. They made the laws and enforced them. They got rid of any human witnesses. She’d never been scared for herself, but Charlie? He didn’t know what kind of danger he was in.

“I’ll talk to him if he finds out,” she whispered, “make sure he understands how dangerous they are.”

Jasper sighed on the other end of the phone, “Just try to keep him out of it for as long as possible.” A sadness had crept into Jasper's voice, “I will do what I can to keep your father out of harm's way if it comes to it but keeping him in the dark is the safest option, for him, for you, for the family.”

\--

Things were tense between Jasper and Bella in the week following but as Thanksgiving approached, and the weather forced them to move inside, things slowly returned to a new normal between them. 

Bella was unsure if it was being surrounded by productivity or the feeling of guilt for coming to the library with the intention to hang out, but somehow their hangouts had turned into study sessions of sorts. At this point in the semester, there was always a paper that needed to be written and Jasper had had some very unique perspectives to contribute. Not that Bella truly needed the help, and not that Jasper actually needed to study, but when gifted with a vampire who is unable to forget anything, one tends to use their resources.

Bella gaped in Jasper’s direction. “So you are trying to tell me that you believe people who constantly read novels of the same subgenre are not doing it for enjoyment but instead to find an author who isn’t banal? How does that make sense? If someone doesn’t find enjoyment in reading they’re bound to abandon books.”

Jasper smirked at her from across the table, his ankle propped up on his knee as he skimmed through another of her thematic essays. “I’m not trying to say people don’t enjoy reading certain genres but if someone has been reading a subgenre, whether it is a remark on the Battle of Gettysburg or a baseball romance, then their purpose isn’t enjoyment at that point. They want to find an author or even just one chapter of a book that approached the topic differently.”

Bella chewed her lip in contemplation. Her essay had been about motivations for reading and she honestly thought she’d done a good job of it. She may have been a bit sarcastic when it came to her interpretation of reading for school work but she had thought she touched on all of the major intrinsic and extrinsic motivations.

She was perturbed. If this made a big enough of a difference, and her professor's thoughts were along the same line as Jasper’s, she’d be better off rewriting the whole section on intrinsic motivation but part of her was still convinced she was right. “Even so, they have to find  _ enjoyment _ out of the activity. If they found the subtopic boring, or even worse annoying,  _ they wouldn’t keep looking. _ ” Or at least Bella wouldn’t. It seemed like some form of self-torture. 

Chuckling he teased, “Well, some people like a challenge.” Even though the situation with Bella’s father had made these last few weeks rough, in part due to how much stress Jasper was absorbing from Bella, he still liked to get her going. He loved seeing her reactions. Though, he thought, heckling her like this might come back to bite him in the ass.

It was so worth it.

She gestured wildly at the laptop he was still holding. “You even said it!  _ Like! _ People  _ enjoy _ a challenge they find in reading just like people  _ enjoy _ learning from books or  _ enjoy _ getting lost in books! It’s just another facet of reading for enjoyment!” 

The passion flooding off of Bella gave Jasper a bit of a high, and he refused to think he was some kind of junkie. However, he would concede that he was enjoying one of the strongest positive emotions he had felt in a while.

Bella sat perplexed, wondering why Jasper had ceased his rebuttal, when she realized the smirk had never fallen from his face. He was pushing her buttons, goading her. Indignation filled her, followed by traitorous affection. She was tickled that he joked with her the way he did. He’d complimented the argument she’d made during their joint lecture and had enough wits to push her buttons in ways he knew would bring out the same side of her. 

Bella didn’t need a mirror to know just how red her face had turned. She felt it creep up the way the emotions she’d rather just ignore did. Adoration, longing, embarrassment, so much embarrassment. Why did Jasper have to be an empath? 

Thankfully, she thought, Jasper had the decency to never bring it up. There were a lot of things she felt grateful for when it came to the mysterious Jasper Hale and his consideration of her comfort had to be near the top. Now if only she could be as considerate in return.

Seeing Bella blush continued to catch Jasper off guard.. He suspected at this point, due to the frequency with which this particular human blushed, he should be used to it but it wasn’t the blood rushing to her face that shook him. Rather, he continued to be amazed by how lovely it made her look. That wasn’t to say that she wasn’t lovely when she wasn’t blushing or that he was observing her that way, but there was some appreciation there.

The scent of her blood seemed to phase him less and less. Part of him hoped that it was mind over matter that allowed him to get this far, that way it would be applicable to more situations. If it ended up benign that he physically acclimated to the scent of her blood then he would just have to take it as a one-time success. Each individual human would have to be their own test for Jasper. Still, he hoped, mind over matter.

Moving to sit next to her, and placing her computer back in her lap, Jasper tried to soothe wounds, “I don’t mean to get you so riled up, Bella.” He still got a good bit of amusement from this but the embarrassment coming from her wasn’t something he could let last very long. She was supposed to be happy after all. 

Bella nearly shook herself. She needed to get thoughts of him out of her head. He was Edward’s  _ brother _ . She hadn’t felt like this towards Emmett, even though he at one time teased her just as relentlessly.

A tenderness welled in her in a way she wasn’t expecting. Slowly, thinking about the family had grown to hurt less. Yes, she had understood that they had no part in leaving, that Edward had lied to them just like he had lied to her, but it had still hurt. Now, after spending all of this time with Jasper, she just felt like she was missing out on being a part of the family. She knew he hadn’t told them anything but he liked to keep her updated. He had shown her some amazing pictures of the house he was helping Esme refurbish. Why they were working at a human pace she was sure she would never understand. And he continued to supply her with funny anecdotes from the hunts he and Emmett took on the weekends. At this point, she just missed the family.  _ Her family _ . She wondered if they’d really thought of her the same way.

Bella’s uncertainty rose but she could feel Jasper fighting it back. He preferred it when she spoke her mind. Keeping things to herself hadn’t been much of an option these last few months, which is another reason why she thought he was so gentlemanly to ignore the hormonal reactions she sometimes had around him. 

Eventually, Jasper’s soothing won out. So she tried not to chew on her lip when she prodded, “Hey Jasper?”

“Yes, Bella?”

“I think you might want to tell your family that I’m here.” The fragility in her voice nearly broke Jasper. “I mean, I don’t know if they would want to see me, I’m just a human and they thought I was the reason they had to leave, but, “she hesitated. Jasper was so eager to have her see the family, she wouldn’t be able to take this back. But, he wouldn’t be encouraging her if he didn’t think it would go well, right? “I think I might like to see them, apologize for all the trouble I’ve caused.”

Jasper had been filled with pride until her last statement stopped him in his tracks. There's no way she could blame herself for any of this. “You did nothing wrong, Bella,” he tried to reassure her. He was no Peter but surely he’d learned something from his own kick in the ass. “Absolutely nothing. No one would accept your apology because you have nothing to apologize for.” He let her feel the affection each member of his family had expressed toward her at one time or another. “They love you and if you would like to see them, then I would love to tell them that. But Bella are you sure? I am not going to push you. If you need to take a step back or retreat you can trust that I will go with you.”

Bella couldn’t control the fluttering in her chest any longer and, though a part of her wanted it to be just her and Jasper for a little while longer, she knew she’d put this off long enough. Giving Jasper a small smile, she spoke resolutely, “I do trust you, Jasper. And yes, I’m sure. I want to see the rest of the family.”


	11. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whistles and drums erupt from the distance, a parade follows, the author grabs the microphone on a float as it passes by. "I bought a house!" she exclaims. The following procession is much poorer than the front. She has run out of money to continue the grandiose.

The buzz that emanated from Jasper’s pocket as he closed his study door piqued curiosity throughout the house. The family had grown more curious as to who had been texting Jasper these last few months but none had brought it up directly. Rose brushed the topic by asking if he had heard from Alice and then Edward, Esme inquired about him staying in touch with Peter, but none were brazen enough to ask who he might be in contact with that was not them.

Jasper checked the message, confirming for himself that Bella’s flight landed and she was safely in Florida. Relief settled into his chest just as quickly as discomfort reared its ugly head. 

He was going to break the news to his family. That had been their deal. Bella would have no part in the initial disclosure.

After Jasper had taken the time to assure Bella that he was on her side as much as he was on his own family’s, they had struck a deal in the oddest fashion. Bella hadn’t thought Jasper had any footing to stand on. It had been her idea and she’d said it was her choice to see the family or not and Jasper agreed to an extent. It was her choice whether or not she physically wanted to see the family but Jasper also knew, whether they chose to tell the family or not, the family would eventually find out. It would be easier to contain the fallout if they were the ones coming forward and not, say, Alice. They’d ended up with an array of stipulations.

One of Bella’s stipulations to meeting with the family was that Jasper had to be the one to reveal this information and he could not tell the family she was in Ithaca until she was not in Ithaca. Jasper had found that ironic but he understood. Bella did not want the family coming to her. Everything had to be on her terms. Now, her terms explicitly stated that it was his turn.

Jasper had of course added some stipulations of his own to make sure things weren’t too uncertain. Jasper would not attempt to stop the family from seeking her out if Bella were to choose to abandon the day they had selected as “the day.” Bella hadn’t liked that term but understood. There was no turning back once the family was told.

The most important stipulation, however, was that Jasper was also at liberty to disclose Edward's malicious treatment towards her and the family as a whole. Which, Bella had completely refused to agree to. She’d ignored his texts for a day and a half after that but, once he’d stationed himself at her classroom door, she hadn’t stayed mad at him for long. He had been able to convince her that the family deserved to know the lies they had been fed and that while it probably would affect their opinions of Edward, wasn’t that for the best? Vampires only change under extreme circumstances. A couple of years of exile from the family may actually do him some good, in Jasper’s opinion. 

Now, he faced a difficult path.

Bella still wasn’t aware that the family knew she was inhabiting Ithaca, that they had been giving her space so that she could forge her own path. So, she was unaware that he had been keeping their rendezvous a secret and that was the real nail in the coffin. He’d agreed to let her live her own life only wedge himself back into the picture. He’d hidden his interference from his family and hidden their knowledge from her. He could only hope everyone could understand his reasons.

Having thought over his approach numerous times, he knew he had only one course of action to take. If he were any more fearful of a man, he may have chosen to tell the coven leader first and let Carlisle break the news, but fearful Jasper was not. He may be nervous about the impact but he knew he would need to bear full responsibility for this. 

Within seconds of his phone alerting him and the rest of the household to his text message, he spoke. “It’s time for a family meeting.”

The curiosity that had filled the household nths of a second before was soon cloaked by thin tension. This was nothing Jasper hadn’t anticipated. Family meetings were only called when matters needed to be discussed in a calm manner. 

Jasper sent out a wave of calm as the family gathered around the large antique dining table Esme purchased at a local auction. They sat in their usual seats. Carlisle sats at the eastern head of the with Esme at his side. Jasper, as usual, chose not to sit but instead stands behind the head opposite Carlisle. With no lines drawn today, Rosalie and Emmett choose to sit closest to him, leaving the spaces directly next to Carlisle and Esme open for their missing members.

“What is this about, son?” Carlisle prompts him, reaching to grab his mate’s hand.

Jasper scans over his family, deciding he would not insult them further by suppressing their reactions. Solemnly, he starts from the beginning, “In September, I brought you news of Isabella Swan’s attendance at Cornell. Today, I bring you together to inform you that I have made contact with her.” 

Despite Edward’s absence, Jasper could infer Rosalie was jumping to conclusions as her curiosity developed into annoyance. His  _ twin _ had never been hard to figure out but there were other, more valid, reasons for Rosalie to be pissed with him. Jasper quickly continued, cutting her off before she could begin. “It was not intentional, not at first. Our classes arranged a joint lecture, it is there I was unable to hide our presence from her.” 

Rosalie bristled, “At first?” Emmett gripped her hand but it did nothing to calm her. “How did your intentions change from keeping this family safe? What are your intentions now Jasper?”

He ground out, “My intentions have always been to keep this family safe, Rose. You know that.”

“What about Bella, then? What are your intentions there? You are just drawing more attention to us.” 

Unable to admit his reasoning, he dodged the question. “All I have done is kept her happy and safe.”

She scoffs, “You are starting to sound a lot like Edward, brother. Did you even try to avoid her?”

She knew that would dig at Jasper but Jasper wouldn’t let her get to him. “Given the number of students on campus, our familiarity with her scent, and the slim likelihood of Isabella taking higher-level philosophy classes, I should have been able to avoid her with ease.” Jasper bit out before admitting, “If we had been more strategic, I would have obtained a copy of her class schedule. I see my own error in that.”

Guilt consumed him, Isabella would be hurt to know she was being talked about in such a manner, as though he regretted their meeting.

“Since that day, I have met with her several times a week.”

Rosalie seethed, “You speak as though this has been happening for some time. How long have you been meeting with her?” Teeth bared, she continued, “I never smelled her on you. How long were you planning on keeping this from us?”

Jasper tasted the betrayal in the air, not just from Rose but from Carlisle as well, before responding, voice hardening, “It was Bella’s request that I keep our meetings to myself. If you would let me finish, you would know why. As for your earlier question, the first occurrence was days after your return from Europe.”

He let that settle in. He had kept this from them for two months. He had met with her, successfully without their knowing, for two months. 

He felt his sister’s rage grow and was surprised when interest quickly overtook it. He thought she would have chewed him out first. Jasper watched as an intense look of focus fell over her face. If he knew her, she would be trying to piece together his strange behavior those first few days, puzzle through how he’d kept Bella’s scent away from the house, she’d probably already put together who all of the texts had been from.

Carlisle spoke next, severing the focus Jasper had on Rose “Jasper,” he began, his tone betraying how displeased he was, “as sure as I am that you had your reasons, what reason could you have for withholding this from us? We’d decided as a family to let Bella live a life unaffected by our existence. You should have come to us immediately.”

Jasper snapped, “I do not believe that anyone here can claim that Bella Swan’s life would ever be unaffected by us.” Venom poured into Jasper’s mouth as he thought about what his brother had done. “Edward made sure of that by leaving her in the forest.”

Carlisle became swiftly disillusioned. The shock and disbelief that flew off his family did little to hide the edge in Carlisle’s voice.“What do you mean Edward left her in the forest?”

Jasper held his gaze. “Edward lied to us. Bella never asked for us to leave. Edward took her into the forest and fed her lies. He made the decision for everyone by telling her we were relocating, that the family had already left the area. When Bella said she would come with us he further tormented her by telling her he no longer loved her and that our leaving would be like we had never existed.” Jasper locked eyes with his sister for the next part. “How well do you think Bella fared that night after the person she loved brought her into the forest, broke her heart, and told her not to follow him?”

Rosalie growled, her temper flaring. “That imbecile.”

Carlisle’s disbelief echoes in his voice while heartbreak rises in him, “Edward is not here to defend his actions and I will not have us condemn him without such an opportunity. I am sure he had good intentions.”

Rosalie’s noise of disgust didn’t seem to spur him further.

The heartache and longing coming from Emmett was concealed to the others by Emmett’s stoic appearance but Jasper knew the connection he’d felt to their human. Even then, nothing compared to Esme. Esme’s worry and heartache grew to a point that Jasper could ignore no longer. He softened his voice, soothing his mother figure, “She is doing well Esme. I have made sure of that.” Hope trickled in beside the relief.

He gauged the mood of the room as he contemplated how to disclose the impact Edward’s actions had on Bella’s life. “However, Rose was right to call Edward an imbecile.” He felt Rose’s pride at that statement, he’d garnered his sister's favor. “We know how dangerous the forest can be and he knew the extent to which certain members of this family cared for Bella. He lied to us, made us believe that it was Bella’s decision. Not only did he endanger her life but he prevented her from getting the closure she needed.” He shot Carlisle a look. “If she had closure she would not have lain in bed without talking to her father for months. She could have had normal human girl experiences but she didn’t. Edward removed all traces of us, our gifts, pictures, all taken from her. When Bella told me she was nearly catatonic for months upon our leaving I felt like the most repentant but I’ve come to realize the cause of all of  _ that _ was Edward’s decision. The negligence and cruelty he showed her are inexcusable.” 

Esme’s soft cry was nearly muffled by Emmett when he finally spoke. “No.” He shook his head. “Something has to be missing. He read our minds. He knew she was family.” His words neared a growl, like his mate’s had moments before. “He knew telling her about our world was sentencing her to a life in our world.” He shook his head again, his mate now gripping his knee. He whispered, “How could he put her in danger like that?” Jasper was sure Emmett was thinking of his own fatal experience in the woods.

A sudden urgency flooded Emmett and warned Jasper seconds before Emmett stood. “Where is she? We have to see her! She has to know we didn’t abandon her.”

Emmett was giving Esme a look like he expected her to leave the charge but she continued to sit heartbroken. Jasper restrained himself from pushing out a wave of calm. There was a reason why Bella didn’t want to be in town when this was discussed. “She is not in Ithaca at the moment. She is visiting family for the holidays.  _ She  _ planned it this way. Bella needs some sentiment of control right now and I am doing everything in my power to give it to her.”

Carlisle sat back in his chair, a move Jasper was certain came from all of his work with humans. Picking up their mannerisms put them more at ease. It was what followed that put Jasper at ease. A sliver of pride peaked through Carlisle’s torment. Even though Carlisle had found out his closest companion and deceived the family and psychologically tormented a human they held dear, he approved of the way Jasper handled it. Jasper was sure of it.

Rosalie, who’d settled upon something during the previous discussion chose that time to speak again. “If Edward hurt her in the way you are telling us, I can understand why she was hesitant to reveal any of this to us. It would make sense if she felt she came second to a first-turned son but you did tell her we did not take part in that decision, did you not Jasper?” After Jasper nodded, Rosalie continued firmer than before, “Then I think her requests were fair. She wouldn’t know how we would react to this and an unknown reception after all of that would be nerve-wracking. My question is, if our leaving truly affected her like you say it did, how did her circumstances change?”

Jasper worried that much of what they wanted to know would be very personal for Bella. He wanted to save some for her to tell, sure that she had omitted information even from him, which was her right. There were things his family had every right to know, however. “We owe the Quileutes in ways I do not think we will ever be able to pay back.” Defensive concern and confusion bloomed around the table, its members straightening.

Rosalie muttered, “Wolves,” but Jasper continued as though she hadn’t interrupted.

“It was their new generation of wolves who recovered Bella from the forest the night Edward left her. They saved her that night and I have a strong belief that they saved her again after that. Bella’s friend from the reservation changed while she was in processing our leaving and though he wasn’t a part of the party that recovered her, he was the one she credits with bringing her back to the land of the living.” Jasper smirked at the irony of that statement. “From what I was told, he protected her not only physically but mentally. He was the reason she was able to graduate and apply to colleges, the reason she was willing to try moving across the country. It has been good for her, it sounds, even before our reintroduction. Jacob Black has my many thanks.”

Carlisle nodded, “Ephraim Black’s grandson. Has he taken up the position of Alpha?” Carlisle’s curiosity won out as the others hedged between disgust and gratefulness. 

Jasper shook his head. “Bella was unable to tell me much, they prefer to keep her out of pack business but from her description, a wolf by the name of Samuel Uley is the alpha and Jake, as she refers to him, is trying to avoid taking the position altogether. However, there is one more piece you need to know about the wolves.” Jasper readies himself for the final blow. “Due to circumstances out of the Alpha’s control, Charlie Swan is now aware of the pack. Bella did not take the situation well and is greatly worried about him finding out about our existence as well. I reassured her that the treaty keeps them from divulging this information but if he is anything like his daughter I am sure it will not take him long to connect the dots. I tried to make it clear to her just how much danger Charlie is in if he were to figure out our secret. We are both working to make sure that does not happen.”

Carlisle who had leaned his head against his steepled hands, nods and lets out a gust of air, each action unneeded, and looks up. “When can we see her?”

Stunned at the lack of rebuttal and overall acceptance of the situation from his family Jasper responds quietly, “December 14th, she requested I bring her by after her last class. Out of respect for her, she would like the family to give her some space to prepare until then.”

Emmett frowns as Rosalie takes his hand but Carlisle nods again and rests his own hand on his mate’s shoulder, giving her a loving look before answering, “Then we shall respect that and make sure we are ready to receive her.”


End file.
